Something Big

This is a big week.  Something important is happening and I am experiencing conflicting emotions.

Some of you know that there was a period in my life where I was just going through the motions.  This was a dark time.  I do not want to re-tell this story here, but suffice it to say, I was in a bad place emotionally, which effected me adversely in all areas of my life.  What I am announcing here, the reason this is a big week, was born from this bad time.  My journey through despair lasted about 2 years, and the path I am on now is about a year and a half in the making.

Drum roll please.  (Unofficially) I am a small business owner.  This becomes official with confirmation of processed paperwork already in the works.  The business is private youth baseball instruction and character development.  When confirmation comes I will be able to give more details.  My purpose now is to declare that God has cared for me beyond my wildest dreams.  The last 3 and a half years have been foundational toward the sense of accomplishment that I am experiencing now.  My heart has been re calibrated and my mind cleared and focused.  I can dream again.

One of the tools I have learned to use to transfer dreams to reality is affirmation.  I have always enjoyed inspirational quotes.  Now I do more with them than enjoy; I use these to motivate and inspire.  These quotes are used to affirm my desires and movement toward success.  One that I have used as I developed a business plan is, "If you build it, he will come." (famously from the film "Field of Dreams").  More significantly, I have been affirmed by God himself.  There have been few times I have believed God has spoken directly to me.  Last Sunday is one of those times.  Experiencing anxiety about the process of starting a business while considering all that could go wrong, I sensed God telling me to do this and shortly after that impression, I was thinking about everything that could go right.  I remembered again all the reasons this is important and why I am going for it.

So, yes, this is a Big week.  Bigger things are still to come.  I am feeling great ambition but also fear.  Strangely, I think these two emotions can work well together.  I suppose I will find out soon enough. 

Here is an affirmation for you:  "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."  (James 1:5)