Productivity Reform

Recently I have come to the realization that to do lists and schedule planners can be a silent killer. Those who know me well know that I cannot live without these items. I use them for two reasons: first, to help me remember the important things that need to be accomplished and second to help me see progress. I have often complained about my poor memory and I think that over the years my defense mechanism has been to make lists and plan tasks. My days have become centered around my schedule because achievement is important to me. I remember days of illness or extreme fatigue or when called away because of something unexpected and how upset or depressed I felt for not having been productive that day.

Seemingly, I am struggling with qualities that generally are viewed as character builders. This does not sound right but is it possible? Maybe these favorable traits are struggling with me. Things like work ethic, responsibility and drive to succeed are features that I strive to possess but I wonder if I am taking these too far? Am I receiving enough reward for the stress involved with keeping the schedule?

Lately in my praying I have sensed God teaching me about other qualities like pace, priority, and efficient wisdom. Admittedly these are things that I have not inquired about but are the Lord's response to me in reference to other things we have discussed. So my schedule has changed as a result. Wait, that is not exactly true. My list making and planning have continued for the reasons I wrote earlier, but I have changed to help myself be truly productive and not kill myself in the process. These changes are mostly attitudinal allowing for flexibility and a little spontaneity (just a smidge because a whole lot would drown me). This week specifically I have used my planner as a supplement to productivity and not the primary tool. Looking first at my primary surroundings with respect to relationships, current activity, and the time allotment before the next natural break in the day has helped me experience daily life with less stress and more value for those people and activities I have experienced. This cuts across my grain by saying that being reactive to life as apposed to proactive is bringing peace. I really do not understand that intellectually and truthfully have harsh things to say about people to live in that style. An so it is with change. It is never easy. Using my schedule as a supplement to managing my time has not been easy because I am fighting off feelings of guilt and the horrible self-characterization of laziness. The good I am experiencing this week is outweighing the bad for sure. The reward of finding more enjoyment in daily, routine life has trumped the feelings of success with items on the list crossed off.

What's next? I do not know but I will look around and see. I have options and that is a good thing.

Blogging: A Year In Review

It has been a year now since I begun this writing adventure More Questions Than Answers and I feel like I should assess where I have been and make a conclusion about where I am going with this little writing hobby. When I started last June the idea was to create a space to do three primary things. The first purpose was to have an outlet for ideas and random questions that stir inside of me that often did not get expressed. Some of my closest friends are ones that I would often have face-to-face conversation with where ideas and questions were discussed. Some of these friends are near and some are far as life has a way of scattering us for various reasons. It is hard to let a good thing go, so I thought this blog would be a good opportunity to stay connected and continue the dialogue. Jobs, growing families, and other such responsibilities have a knack of getting in the way of weekend visits or extended phone calls with these friends.

The second purpose was to engage in a different kind of ministry activity. Not holding responsibility in targeted, formal ministry now for two years I wanted to be active doing something that someone may find productive and useful. Writing for this blog has prompted me to think in different ways and given me motivation to study. Not sure how these entries the past year has benefited any of its readers (if at all), but personally this blogging exercise has been a sharpening tool to keep me from slumping into apathy and self absorption.

Lastly, the purpose of this space is simply for myself. I am learning that writing can be a therapeutic retreat. I say that my faith is a daily grind and writing has become a way of managing the highs and lows in my attempt at faithfulness. There is something about public expression that creates vulnerability. For some this is a scary concept but the risk is worth the effort as I have found that I am not the only one with doubt, fear, and disappointments.


A year ago when I first began writing I decided that I did not want this blog to be a journal or scrapbook exclusively, hoping to find a middle ground so that everyone in my social network would find something here that would be of interest. Again, not sure what I have accomplished. I believe I will continue to write, at least for now. I have other writing projects I am working on, probably words you will never see or hear me talk about. One thing this blog has not done is give me confidence in writing. These new projects are a result of private energy and ones that will hopefully be something my family will view and value. To tell the truth, my ability to crank out a weekly entry is being hampered by these other projects. Maybe that is good, maybe not.

They say the toughest critic is the self critic and I would agree (whoever 'they' is). The bottom line is that I think I have been able to stick with my three fold purpose all the while having fun. If you are a regular visitor let me say 'thanks' for participating. Hope we can spend more time visiting as the ideas and questions continue.

West Coast Baseball Tour

I celebrated the 4th of July holiday in all-American style. My friends and I traveled to the west coast visiting Major League Baseball yards. This time last year I posted an entry about our east coast trip. That trip included Camden Yards (Baltimore), Yankee Stadium (NY) and Fenway Park (Boston.) The motivation last summer was to see Yankee Stadium before it closed. The baseball was terrific; the games and the overall atmosphere generated by the fans were one of a kind. In planning the trip for this summer there was one classic, historic yard we had not visited which led us to California.

Los Angeles -- From a baseball point-of-view this was the highlight of the trip. Dodger Stadium is a beautiful place, probably enhanced by the constantly warm climate. This yard was the centerpiece of the trip and the classic stadium we had traveled to see. For being a huge sports market and having an historic franchise one could assume the atmosphere would be hyper with ultra passionate fans. Not the case. In fact, the stadium itself is completely surrounded by parking lots-- no restaurants, bars, or memorabilia stores. Dodger Stadium sits on a large patch of desert with no nightlife or retail or anything surrounding. We enjoyed Grandpa Elliott and his harmonica playing the pre-game National Anthem in addition to God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. The fans are laid back like typical Californians, although we were all disappointed that Manny was still 3 days away.

San Diego -- The next stop on the tour was Petco Park which is one of the recently built stadiums. This venue features a warehouse incorporated into the structure of the left field stands. Also, beyond the right-center field fence is a large sand box which of course is supposed to replicate the beaches just a few blocks away. The 'beach' was full of kids not enjoying the game. A first inning home run came close to reminding those young-uns what they were missing. The all you can eat section we sat in had tricked up hot dogs, plump and extra greasy. Three dogs were the max but we did consume one food item per inning.

Anaheim -- Back to the greater LA area with a stop at Angel Stadium which strangely had a mid-western feel. Other than the great weather there was no obvious indicator that we were in southern California. This was a family baseball experience with a stadium full of young kids with their parents. There was nothing especially unique about Angel Stadium. It was a clean place with a good sized crowd who seemed to be baseball fans in general, not passionate, just there for a good time.

As vacations go, this year was an overall better trip. Taking into account the great weather and the air travel, this trip lended itself to more activity besides baseball. Considering just baseball stadiums and the sport, no place or building can compete with NY and Boston in terms of passion, lore, beauty, and magic. Nonetheless, I can now cross off Dodger Stadium as a classic baseball place I've visited. I think my classics tour is now complete: Dodger Stadium, Wrigley Field, Tiger Stadium, Camden Yards, Yankee Stadium, & Fenway Park. Too bad Crosley Field and Candlestick Park aren't still baseball hosts.