What Is Your Perfect Day?

Many of you are off and running with your personal goals for the new year.  With only 27 days in, the motivation and focus is still fairly strong.  Soon it will be February.

Learning from other baseball instructors as well as from personal development/leadership reading, one way to stay on track is to visualize success.  This is just a simple exercise of imagining what it would be like to lose 20 lbs. or to stop smoking.  The key to this visualization is to get lost in the details.  Day dreaming is acceptable after all!

As for me, I like to think about what a perfect day would look like.  Follow me to the land of make believe and see what I visualize for a day like today in the dead of winter.

7:00 am -- rise and shine
7:30 -- coffee and devotional reading and study
8:00 -- breakfast (my fav is a goetta omellet)
8:30 -- creating (networking, reading, writing, planning)
10:30 -- workout
noon -- lunch (i love leftovers from the night before)
1:00 pm -- office, managing my business
3:00 -- team practice (baseball starts early)
5:00 -- supper (Have you seen Hilary's meals?!)
6:00 -- family time
9:00 -- wifey time
10:30 -- bed

Now you try it.  I am a firm believer in writing this stuff down.  The action of writing takes abstract thoughts and shapes them into tangible ideas.

What is your perfect day?

Triple W: A Philosophy of Winning

There is a beautiful passage in Isaiah that has inspired me.  More than that, these poetic (and purposeful) words have reminded me of God's confirmation of His favor in my life.

The spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To grant those who mourn in Zion,
Giving them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NAS)

A friend and I recently shared a breakfast table discussing the dwindling influence of the (lower case) church and exploring examples from other friends of how God is on the move within the (upper case) church.  My friend and I are encouraged to know confirmation of God's favor by granting us success in our desired interests.  A new (old) model of ministry, my friend explained, falls outside the context of organizational church but into the places where Christians live and work.

This conversation corresponds with the triple W philosophy of winning, which is a "map" to getting to that ultimate place of personal ministry.

The first stop on the road to personal victory is to Watch.  Study and learn.  Be attentive with eyes and ears, listening carefully to the voice of God.  Observe every detail about others, and especially yourself.  Know yourself inside and out, even at the risk of being confronted with scars, warts and deeply embedded thorns.  The person who ought to know me best is me.  Seeing the living God at work in my life is the point of the Watch.  The process of making sense of identity and being (coming to terms with the real me) pumps fresh energy into this otherwise mundane existence.

Next, while the Watch is on, the Work must begin and never end.  Success demands hard work. You knew that already.  The observations that have been made now require some analysis and conclusions.  Form a game plan, adjust when necessary and put in both the time and effort enacting that plan toward the goal.  The goal, remember, was/is being realized while watching.  The Work then is thinking, decision making, trial and error, networking, risk taking; in other words, blood, sweat and tears.

Finally, while watching and working, it is also important to Wait.  This stop on the road can either be the easiest or hardest.  For some, to wait is a positive spin on just being lazy, and so becomes a justified step although misguided.  For others, impatience makes waiting almost impossible.  This is tricky.  Waiting is simply developing patience and not jumping too quickly or too slowly at opportunities.  It is sifting through the mine of glowing rocks discovered at the Work stop and determining if the rocks are gems or just shiny rocks.  Waiting requires productive inaction.  Wait, this does make sense.  Waiting requires action but of the wise sort.  It is being smart and letting the best stuff come to you.

Watch--Work--Wait.  Winning means success and living a life that comes a little easier on most days because despite the normal challenges, being what God intended is so refreshing and exciting and inspirational and productive.  The Church marches on as we serve and love each other, sinner and saint alike, enjoying the fabric of our own skin.  Not hiding behind the walls of history or being threatened by the noose of doctrine, the Church lives and breathes and praises God by simply offering the greatest gift we can give...ourselves.

Wristband Discipline

Discipline is a controversial topic.  Fires get lit when the topic comes up among parents.  Usually this is because discipline is wrongly understood and treated as a hard science.  Let's start here:  discipline is not another word for punishment.  It is the process by which ideas, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are learned.  Of course, all of these learned behaviors can be classified "good" or "bad".  Strike and burn!

Consider the paragraph above as a preface to a recent personal experience.  As a parent myself I have wanted to improve how I respond to my children in certain situations.  When it comes to high drama, conflict filled, emotion saturated environments I often break down.  I get stressed and that burn often resorts to speaking louder or (too) swiftly dishing out consequences.  Patience is not a quality I hold in excess. 

It got to a point that I was extrememly disappointed in my ability to take the time to calmly ask questions and logically manage a situation involving my kids.  Understanding the concept of discipline as I do, I realized I needed some.  So I decided I was going to teach myself to produce more positive and patient responses when the household stress-o-meter got jacked up.  I found one of those rubber bracelets that were all the rage not so long ago.  This wristband became a visual reminder for me to request patience in my prayers and a cue by which to actively pursue becoming a better father.  Whenever my stress level won out and I acted in haste, I would move the wristband from one arm to the other.  Let me be honest.  That transfer usually didn't happen right away.  Often an hour or two would pass before I would realize my reaction.  When I changed wrists I marked it in my journal with the date.  My goal was to string together 21 straight days of the bracelet resting on a wrist with zero transfers.  When I blew it, the episode was noted and the count would start over again.  I wasn't convinced this would work because after all, I'm not a Pavlovian dog, I am a man.  Worse!

Let me report that Christmas Day marked the 21st straight day of a certain brand of patience I was pursusing.  The perfect gift from God as the family celebrated together.  It only took me some 58 days total for 21 straight.  Twice during that time I made it to 20 days and relapsed.  I'm reporting on this now, some 2 months later, because I was reminded again this week in my devotions that God "works in me to will and to act according to his good purpose."  The wristband thing worked.  God acted and is changing me.

There is a reason school teachers send home dozens of math problems to do every night.  The coach has something particular in mind when demanding hours upon hours of drills.  It's hard work ramping up to some 25-35 running miles a week preparing to race a half marathon.  Discipline is the process of developing habits.  It takes practice; that is, repitition over and over again until the lesson is engrained.

Good thing I get 18 years to "raise" my kids.  I am glady taking everyone of those days and grasping tightly.  I need these years as much as them.

Little + Little + Little = Big

A bounding ball, sharply hit to short, fielded and thrown to second. Straddling the bag, the second baseman catches, pivots and fires the ball onward. Stretching with focused reach, the man at first catches the ball only slightly before the batter comes down on the base with a stomp. Double play.

Enjoying the MLB playoffs makes me think of how much details matter. In baseball, a double play is huge, especially in October. Not counting the simplest of the tasks required in turning a double play--catching a thrown ball--there are 5 actions that need to be executed. Since catching the ball is required to make outs the number of required actions increases to 7.

(1) The pitcher hurls an appropriately located pitch to induce a grounder. (2) The shortstop (using the above example) fields the baseball cleanly. (3) The ball is then thrown accurately to the second baseman. (4) The second baseman catches and (5) pivots, using precise footwork to avoid the on coming runner, (6) throws the ball to first base quickly enough to beat the batter racing down the baseline. (7) A good throw is caught by the first baseman before the batter reaches the base. If any of these 7 little actions break down and do not happen just so, the big result is lost.

High performance depends on the execution of the small things that really are the building blocks of the achievement itself. I believe this principle applies to most any area of effort that has vision behind it.

Broken down into small parts, exceptional parenting showcases this concept. Good parents listen and communicate well. Discipline is taken seriously, paying attention to both instruction of good behavior and correction of misbehavior. Clear expectations are set, outside influences are filtered, opportunities for safe exploration are allowed, and other things (this can become a long list) are all managed by quality parents with well adjusted and high functioning kids the prize.

Business, project management and leadership are other areas where the little things add up to something special. Of course, the opposite is true; when the details are ignored or become secondary, the results are less than ideal. Just like beauty, results are in the eye of the beholder. What I consider bad and not in good taste is another's pride. But that is another subject altogether.

Work hard on the details and the big stuff will come together.

The Opportunity of "Inactivity"

Daniel Okrent, an award winning writer, has the same addiction I do: a love of baseball. He was a significant contributor in the Baseball documentary by Ken Burns. Okrent describes the game in the Burns film as a game of inactivity. He explains that baseball gives the appearance of purposeless action but that this view is to misunderstand the game. This perceived "inactivity" is really highly directed activity that the casual fan or an antagonist to the game understands as a flaw. Okrent argues that the pace of baseball and the moments when it seems the action has stopped is what makes the game so great. He is right! In these perceived gaps of action are the moments of gamesmanship: strategy, signaling, sign stealing, grabbing an extra extra step in the basepaths, leaning one way or the other in defensive positioning, making the batter wait, making the pitcher wait, etc. The development of the dramatic happen in these so called slow moments.

There is a lesson here that applies to achievement of personal goals and hopes for our lives. For anyone that we consider hugely successful I contend that more likely than not the successful devote large amounts of time in quiet "inactivity." Slowing themselves down to understand the setting, circumstances and resources needed for winning. These are activities that to the casual observer are not noticed.

What thought have you given to the next 5 years? How much time is devoted to planning your success? When is the last time you have sat alone day dreaming? How will you measure your progress? These are important questions to answer, the glory-less sort of activity that generates purpose and direction. Significant success does not happen by chance. The hard work is going on while the action has slowed. There lies the advantage.

Greatness Always Requires Sacrifice

Soon I will be 34 years old and I know that these are the most important days of my life. I am a husband and father and so the search for significance is easy. The opportunity for impact is built in--naturally. The pursuit of success in these roles is the most difficult challenge facing me.

How does a person my age handle such a realization? Ah, you ask which one, the most important days idea or the pursuit of success thing? My response--both! These concepts are intertwined. I want the rest of my days to be full of success.

Sine greatness always requires sacrifice, what are the things that must go in order for my most important days to produce the most important outcomes? I believe a list is in order.

Ignoring Myself

Yes, I am the most important person in my pursuit of greatness. Don't think of this statement as an arrogant, self-absorbed commentary on the depravity of man. I must throw off this kind of false humility that suggests human capital should extend exclusively upon others. I realize more than ever that I need to invest in myself. Not just for my benefit but for the benefit of others. I want to be the best I can be so that I have something of worth to give to those I love most. Please hear me clearly. I do not want to be an achievement monger or a shallow, isolated me worshipper. With something bigger than myself in mind, I simply want to prepare and be trained in bringing out the best of who I was created to be.

Temporary Pleasure

If I had a dollar for every decision I have made that meant immediate gratification then financial independence would be mine. Because I made so many such decisions, the money I could have is elsewhere because I had to have something right now. How stupid! Of course, consumerism is not the only example. Decisions regarding relationships and even eating choices can also fall under the "I need this right now" category. Doing everything on purpose sets up success. The biggest and most important question to ask is "Why?" Being able to answer honestly is identifying purpose. Purpose eliminates distractions and keeps the flames of focus burning. This is foundational, without purpose, nothing else matters.

Expectations Set By Others

I used to care a lot about what other people thought. I still care a little; at least enough to make a judgment on whether I should stick close to that person or put up a friendly barrier. I want to be sure that I run with those who are supportive and encouraging. It is much easier to keep pressing on when you have fans. For those who just want to be sure that I know their opinion and their disapproval, I am learning not to take it personally or let them hold me back. Sure, a little constructive criticism is helpful at times, but when the words are consistently negative and said in a spirit of defeat, then the best course of action is to keep a distance. Success is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Since I determine what success is, setting goals is an activity of utmost importance. My expectations, that is, what I know to be most important become clear when goals are established.

Unplanned Time

I believe one of the biggest barriers to success and ultimately a joyful life is wasted time. Time is my most valuable resource. Planning, although time consuming, is time well spent. Creating an action plan toward the accomplishment of goals is a compass always pointing in the right direction. When there is uncertainty on what to do then there is bound to be worthless (less worth) activities that creep in and steal energy away from potential accomplishment. The mathematical odds suggests that if you plan for success you'll be more likely to get there than if you made no plan at all. There is no two ways around it; the numbers don't lie.

Here is the plan. Now the doing part which means identifying the trash and throwing it out.