RESET: On Love

I often say that my faith is a grind. I don't mean to be confusing as Christians typically talk about how their faith powers their lives. This is true for me too. What I mean by the grind are the daily ups and downs of being a follower of Christ. My life didn't become easier but harder when I chose to take a different path. Life's expectations are higher and perspective is more relevant and important. I was reminded again of the effort and commitment it takes to understand and obey the will of God. RESET this week was about Jesus' absurd love. It was a challenging week as 'love' is a hard thing for me.

I get the whole unconditional love thing that Jesus does. This is something that has been pounded in me since I was a boy. 'Jesus loves me this I know...,' yea, yea, yea. I believe it to be true not only because the 'Bible tells me so' but because I have experienced this love. I believe it in my head but not always in my life. The tough part for me is abiding in this love continuously, you know, all the time. Receiving is easy when I feel like I deserve the thing I'm getting, like a birthday present or a raise. It's not as easy to accept when I know full well I don't deserve what I'm getting, like the D from Dr. Harstad's Greek 401 class. Why do we feel like we have to chase after God to get his attention? We often work so hard trying to impress him with our good deeds and our discipline habits and only then feel loved. Then we run away from God when we screw up; do the wrong thing and complain about not being connected. Instead of receiving Jesus' love, we try to earn it. We want to feel like we deserve it because it's easier to receive that way.

Jesus said, as recorded in John's gospel (15.14-17),

You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit--fruit that will last--and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

These are hard words because I know that I am not worthy to be loved by God. Not only is it difficult for me to receive Jesus' love all the time, but on top of that I'm commanded to love others. This is especially hard because I expect others to operate the same way I do, that is, to earn my love. Most people who know me have seen that I just know throw out acceptance, sympathy, understanding, forgiveness willy-nilly. I am often accused of being dead inside. It's meant as a joke by my friends but there is some truth to it when you think about it. I think the lesson is this: We must receive (grasp, handle, accept) Jesus' love that really makes no good sense in order to love others in the same nonsensical fashion.

I have a long way to go. I hope there is no misunderstanding when I talk about the grind. It's a good thing--to be challenged and on my toes ready for what's next. My life isn't boring that's for sure. Receiving and experiencing Christ's love causes me to strengthen my focus and pick up my stride because the reward is well worth it. Receiving the love of Christ and living in God's presence is in and of itself sufficient. Why the grind? Because Jesus' love is absurd. Now that know what I know and receiving his love, it is impossible not to grind it out.