RESET: On Love

I often say that my faith is a grind. I don't mean to be confusing as Christians typically talk about how their faith powers their lives. This is true for me too. What I mean by the grind are the daily ups and downs of being a follower of Christ. My life didn't become easier but harder when I chose to take a different path. Life's expectations are higher and perspective is more relevant and important. I was reminded again of the effort and commitment it takes to understand and obey the will of God. RESET this week was about Jesus' absurd love. It was a challenging week as 'love' is a hard thing for me.

I get the whole unconditional love thing that Jesus does. This is something that has been pounded in me since I was a boy. 'Jesus loves me this I know...,' yea, yea, yea. I believe it to be true not only because the 'Bible tells me so' but because I have experienced this love. I believe it in my head but not always in my life. The tough part for me is abiding in this love continuously, you know, all the time. Receiving is easy when I feel like I deserve the thing I'm getting, like a birthday present or a raise. It's not as easy to accept when I know full well I don't deserve what I'm getting, like the D from Dr. Harstad's Greek 401 class. Why do we feel like we have to chase after God to get his attention? We often work so hard trying to impress him with our good deeds and our discipline habits and only then feel loved. Then we run away from God when we screw up; do the wrong thing and complain about not being connected. Instead of receiving Jesus' love, we try to earn it. We want to feel like we deserve it because it's easier to receive that way.

Jesus said, as recorded in John's gospel (15.14-17),

You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit--fruit that will last--and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

These are hard words because I know that I am not worthy to be loved by God. Not only is it difficult for me to receive Jesus' love all the time, but on top of that I'm commanded to love others. This is especially hard because I expect others to operate the same way I do, that is, to earn my love. Most people who know me have seen that I just know throw out acceptance, sympathy, understanding, forgiveness willy-nilly. I am often accused of being dead inside. It's meant as a joke by my friends but there is some truth to it when you think about it. I think the lesson is this: We must receive (grasp, handle, accept) Jesus' love that really makes no good sense in order to love others in the same nonsensical fashion.

I have a long way to go. I hope there is no misunderstanding when I talk about the grind. It's a good thing--to be challenged and on my toes ready for what's next. My life isn't boring that's for sure. Receiving and experiencing Christ's love causes me to strengthen my focus and pick up my stride because the reward is well worth it. Receiving the love of Christ and living in God's presence is in and of itself sufficient. Why the grind? Because Jesus' love is absurd. Now that know what I know and receiving his love, it is impossible not to grind it out.

110words, #027

After a week off, the fiction is flowing again. The prompts this time were to first explain how the man and rabbit meet (no pet-owner relationship allowed) and second to tell the story in 110 words or less. Sounds easy enough, right? Here is my entry.

Eddie Rabbit Alter-Ego

Dewey's was slow, so slow the girls bailed before the last set. The smoke was thicker than usual and curiously sweet. Teddy felt sick and the sweat was a squall. He needed the money so he swallowed one last shot and set his pick. Next thing he knew, he was singing songs he'd never sung before. He closed the bar with "Every Which Way but Loose" but had no idea why. Ironic? Yea, his head was pounding. Dude in the front asked for a photo and autograph; wrapped his arm around him and grinned. The lights went out and that is all Teddy could remember.

Why I Love Baseball, Part VI

With Team USA on the brink of elimination from the WBC and the grapefruit and cactus leagues winding down, that means that opening day is near. This is the last post in this series, so if you've missed any you can catch up by clicking the label 'baseball' from the side bar. I'll do a predictions post a few days before the first pitch so keep your eyes peeled. Now where was I...

Baseball truly is a unique sport. Baseball is a sport that plays out like a child's game; you know with a board and tokens and situational cards to direct the outcome. I love baseball because of the format of the game itself. Unlike the other major sports, baseball is not ruled by a timer or clock. Time is no factor as the outcome of the game is settled by the players themselves. As I have written in a previous post in this series, baseball is a game of execution, not last second desperation. There are nine innings in which both teams take turns batting and fielding. If there has ever been a good definition of 'equal opportunity' this is it. Both teams competing against one another get 27 outs. Again, the game itself directs the play, unaffected and uninterrupted by a timepiece.

Situations dictate the flow and the dramatics of the game. At any given moment, any number of plays or outcomes could occur. Teams have options during these situations. An example, of course, would be laying down a bunt to advance a runner or sacrificing an at-bat by hitting to the off field or the runner just stealing the base. Ball players moving about the bases is like taking a turn in a board game; rolling the die, advancing your token the appropriate number of spaces and then reading the situational action card. When you read the card and await your next turn, you're thinking of your next move. In baseball, there are multiple ways to score and multiple ways to win.

Another beautiful feature of baseball is that the scoring is a result of action that happens from all angles, not concluded at a specific post or dependent on the ball. The other major sports channel the action toward a goal, a specific point at which the scoring occurs. The baseball doesn't have to end up in a basket or net or end zone. This is a reactionary game. With the exception of the home run, the action doesn't depend on the ball itself to satisfy the scoreboard, but on the players reaction to how the ball is traveling and how it is being handled. Yea, the ball has to be in motion to get the wheels turning, but it doesn't have to be struck well or even struck at all to get runs across home plate. A wild pitch can score a run. A sacrifice fly out can score a run. I've seen multiple times a bases on balls (both an unintentional and intentional walk) win a game. Compared to the other major sports, baseball boasts diverse plots of success.

Finally, I love baseball because it is a team sport that showcases individual performances. Thinking about this, I realize that all team sports can tout this in some form or fashion. Only in baseball does the individual performance take center stage. All eyes (teammates, the opposing team, fans) transfix upon the pitcher versus the hitter, each isolated for a moment as if nothing else is going on. I remember last July while on a stadium tour with my college friends. We were in Yankee Stadium when the Red Sox were in town. Mariano Rivera was closing out a 1-0 lead for the Yankees when Manny Ramirez stepped to the plate with a runner on. If there is a batter you want in this situation, it's Manny--the best I've ever seen. That was the game he was first accused of quiting on the Sox. He watched three strikes pass and the Yankees won. For just that one moment, the world seemed to stand still.

RESET: On Giving Up

One of my goals leading up to this RESET journey was to determine what influences over the years has incorrectly lead me to reconstruct who Jesus really is, if I have at all. Sadly, and not surprisingly, I have painted my image of Jesus as a sort of caricature; the main features established but stretched or blurred or reduced. This was not purposeful on my part. I am learning, especially with the completion of week three study that I have been falsely lead. The culture that surrounds me has made a compelling case to take on attributes and attitudes that are the opposite of Jesus. Why this surprises me I do not know as this is something that I was taught, as a young Christian, to expect.

Week three was all about surrender. The two primary areas of focus had to do with the things in life that we try to control and our interactions with haters (both who hate us and those to whom we return the favor). When I took the time to reflect on these things I realized my behaviors and attitudes were (are) based on a 'righteous', self protecting point of view. The things in my life that I control--space, time, growth/maturity of my kids--are things that I have rationalized in my mind in a positive spin. Without getting specific or bogged down in semantics, I have created such a tight environment for myself and family that I wonder how much of God's leading can be understood in the depths of my complicated underpinning. An example is how I spend my time. I seem to schedule every second of my day. I want a plan. I want to execute this plan so that I can say I accomplished something. I desire achievement and fear not being productive. Maybe I want to accomplish something because achievement is proof that I am not lazy. See what I mean? Rationalization with a righteous spin.

I am a control freak, what can I say? For me, the surrender needs to come not with the virtues I am trying to deepen in myself and develop in my kids but with my attachment to the framework I have created to hold up these virtues. When my scheduled day does not play out like it should, having absorbed spontaneous entries (accidents, distractions, underestimates, telephone calls) my reaction is none too good. This is where the surrender is needed. I need to give up the framework when "things" not planned for happen. God may be breaking in; I need to listen and realize there may be something of far greater worth that I can accomplish.

Jesus wants you to give up. Read for yourself Simon's story and then a prostitute's encounter with Jesus. Giving up is completely counter-cultural. I have learned that to give up is weakness, to quit is a lack of commitment. Not so with the King.

110words, #024-026

The last three weeks of short fiction writing have been a series. The prompt was to create a character and develop a story using that character. There were three different photos but the point was to thread that character using what was provided. I am listing my entries starting with photo #024 so you can see the progression. Of course.


Roll Tide

"Yep, we'll go right out there a ways to get the best signal," Kenny explained to the game warden, who wondered about the contraption he had seen motoring around the lake.

Kenny wasn't one for long drives or large crowds but he loved his Crimson Tide football. Instead of traditional tail gating, Kenny enjoyed listening every Saturday on his FM dial. A scratchy, snowy broadcast was all he was able to get from his trailer tucked beneath the densely wooded ridge.

"You been drinkin'?", questioned the warden.

"No sir," replied Kenny. "Neither the Lord or the extre weight on these insulation panels could stand it." "Plus it's dangerous."


Other Plans

Satisfied that Kenny was sober, the warden left. Now, Kenny had just enough time before kickoff to grab a bag of pork rinds and his 'Bama foam finger. As he headed up the ridge, he noticed his cousin Herb and a few others, that he had not laid eyes on before, had gathered out in front of his trailer. Remembering that the revival meetin' was goin' on, Kenny decided to go with what he already had--half of an oatmeal cream pie and a plug of Levi Garrett. He had to hurry though to get back down the hill before Herb caught sight of him. Today football was his religion.


Painted Memory

"I don't think Herb saw me," Kenny said to himself, gasping for air after running down the ridge as fast as he could.

Catching his breath, Kenny cranked the motor to his craft and headed toward the middle of the lake. With the high sky and a stiff breeze, Kenny's mind wondered, remembering the company he kept on Saturday afternoons. Pulling an old photograph from his pocket, he thought of his beloved mother. Kenny was just a teenager when it was taken. It was the only game they ever attended in person.

Pushing a tear away, Kenny cried, "I know your up there watchin' mama. I miss ya."

RESET: On Fairness

The RESET group I am in just finished week two of six. RESET is a city wide study of the life and ministry of Jesus which is designed to prompt a self inflicted "reset" about our long held assumptions of who this God-Man (was) and is. Seemingly it is going to take more than six weeks to completely expunge the binary code in our operating systems. Starting over can take a lifetime; I think that is the point.

This week we contemplated (using the journal book) and talked (in our small group) about fairness. Fairness is one of those qualities that many of us take on as a "must have" personality feature. To hear us tell it, fairness is next to righteousness. An element of being good is being fair--in judgement and in practice. As a society we demand standards to dish out fairness. For example, we want a system of laws to punish the corrupt. We expect a cost of living raise when inflation occurs. Comment with your own examples.

Why do we believe that life has to be fair? I remember my first college course, psychology 101 at Asbury College. It was a 9 am, Monday morning class and all of us in the room were nervous freshman. Shortly after the bell rang, Dr. Alan Moulton, who happened to be the chair of the psychology department, strides in and begins the lecture with these words, "Life is not fair and then you die." I would venture to guess that most college graduates cannot remember the opening line to their first college class. I remember; how could I now with those words?

The point of RESET, week 2 is that Jesus was not committed to fairness. In fact, Jesus has made it a point to operate unfairly, giving us what we do not deserve. (pushing) RESET. We have to trash the idea that fairness equals righteousness remembering that Jesus (was) is committed to mercy and grace. Now these are personality features to adopt. Talk about shaking up your home, office, and neighborhood; giving what they do not expect--another chance.