Deuteronomy 30
This is the end for Moses. Unbeknownst to those surrounding him, Moses is wrapping up a remarkable life. From where I sit, I wonder if he knew that he would never step foot into God's promised land? Here is a group that has waited for generations to be recognized as a legitimate nation. Here they stand just paces from that promised land presumably wrestling with the prospects of freedom and prosperity. My speculation here, but I'm just wondering if anxiety loomed over the people. Looking at their history, God's people existed either enslaved or wandering. Just beyond the ridge their new settling place awaited them. I imagine there could have been fear and conflict within the camp over the opportunity for self-rule while at the same time longing to have an established government to provide authority; being ruled a concept they had grown comfortable with. After all, the people groups that surrounded them were in fact nations, with a king and everything.
As usual, I am extremely grateful. So much to enjoy for such an undeserving person. This has been a year of finding those things that have been scattered and lost. There is a lot more to it than I have time or space to devote but the ability to dream has been restored. As the passage (found at the link above) directs, there were thick calluses that needed to be cut away.
I learned about myself this year that I had experienced at least a couple of years of depression. This is hard to admit but after some honest introspection and self-discovery exercises I came to learn that life's circumstances turned my focus away from God's power to direct me toward opportunity and blessing. I was making purpose and meaning more difficult than it actually is. The Lord taught me that meaning for my life isn't out of reach; in fact, all I needed was a mirror to see who God created. Those talents, attributes, convictions and what I had been taught had not evaporated. I just needed to become intense again in my obedience and devotion to the Lord my God.
And now, what has kept me going and what finally pushed me to break through the darkness is the fact that there is something I can do to initiate the power and authority of God in my life. That is, simply put, to reach back while realizing that there are two choices facing me--life or death. I was experiencing a slow death by not doing anything and believing that the best had come and gone. Now I am experiencing a rejuvenation. My dreams haven't completely come true yet, but the Lord is leading me through an adventure of learning new purpose and giving new opportunity to take hold of the blessing of the land that I possess.