What Is Your Perfect Day?

2012-01-27T15:39:00.001-05:00

Many of you are off and running with your personal goals for the new year. With only 27 days in, the motivation and focus is still fairly strong. Soon it will be February.

Learning from other baseball instructors as well as from personal development/leadership reading, one way to stay on track is to visualize success. This is just a simple exercise of imagining what it would be like to lose 20 lbs. or to stop smoking. The key to this visualization is to get lost in the details. Day dreaming is acceptable after all!

As for me, I like to think about what a perfect day would look like. Follow me to the land of make believe and see what I visualize for a day like today in the dead of winter.

7:00 am -- rise and shine
7:30 -- coffee and devotional reading and study
8:00 -- breakfast (my fav is a goetta omellet)
8:30 -- creating (networking, reading, writing, planning)
10:30 -- workout
noon -- lunch (i love leftovers from the night before)
1:00 pm -- office, managing my business
3:00 -- team practice (baseball starts early)
5:00 -- supper (Have you seen Hilary's meals?!)
6:00 -- family time
9:00 -- wifey time
10:30 -- bed

Now you try it. I am a firm believer in writing this stuff down. The action of writing takes abstract thoughts and shapes them into tangible ideas.

What is your perfect day?

Loosen The Clogs of Pattern

2012-01-13T09:55:00.000-05:00

One of my goal for this new year is to learn better how to pray; rather, to better connect with God. Since I write as a hobby, I thought writing prayers may be a fresh approach to a sacred practice. As you read these, please know that God is my intended audience. I have prayed these words over and over. I publish these here as a secondary act; praying that maybe some of you may connect with God.
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Loosen The Clogs of Pattern

Where to begin Lord, I do not know.
Prayer sounds simple yet it is so hard.
The words do not come, my mind locks up tight.
My best it seems are words lazy and rote.
Why can't I converse like you are right in the room?
I have learned you are here and believe it is true.

I want to experience my moments with you.
Lord, let me get lost in my sharing.
I am feeling and thinking so much --
plans, dreams, questions, frustrations, failures.
You know it all, but in delivery I am bound.
This is foolish not knowing what to say.

Early on I learned to pray a certain way.
Formula and form were impressions of correctness.
Now I am trying to know you deeper,
and talking casually, strangely is not easier.
Pen to paper may loosen the clogs of my pattern.
Lord, please know, my heart is open.

Amen.

What I Want For Christmas

2011-12-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

The word I have heard most often in my praying of recent weeks is "sacrifice." That's it. I do not have any more insight or context, just a confidence that God has spoken. In preparation for 2012, this is what I want for Christmas:

wisdom
continued confirmation
appropriate resources
TV series suggestions
deeper connections
ideas
fresh vigor
unique perspective
low carb pork lo mein
official Red Ryder carbine-action two hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock (smile)

What do you want?

"The days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will raise up to David a righteous Branch, a King who will reign wisely and do what is just and right in the land." (Jeremiah 23:5)

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts

2011-12-08T14:55:00.001-05:00

There is a small verse in the final chapter of John's gospel that has jumped out in a big way. It is sort of tucked away and I suppose in my haste, have overlooked its power in past readings.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord." So when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put his outer garment on (for he was stripped for work), and threw himself into the sea. John 21:7 (for context read whole chapter)

John was an insider, a part of Jesus' core group of followers--a close friend. I presume that John was close friends with Peter, also a core member. This is an easy conclusion because these two men spent 3 years together following Jesus' every word and step. Never mind that these two probably were acquaintances before that since they shared the same profession.

John knew full well Peter's embarrassing moments. He was in the boat when Peter stepped out onto the water only to sink and need rescue. And even though John wasn't in the courtyard with Peter during the series of denials of knowing Jesus, surely he knew. If by no other way, John would have learned of Peter's failure from Matthew who makes it public in his gospel account.

This time, when Peter sees Jesus in the distance; his Lord who has defeated death, he plunges into the water only to swim to shore to greet the man whom he denied. Peter's only hesitation is to get dressed before approaching the Lord. Respect. Love. Faith--big time.

This was no miracle, only a culmination of what God had been doing in Peter's heart. John saw Jesus with clear eyes. When John told Peter "It is the Lord" it was all Peter needed to redeem himself in his prior lack of faith. Jesus gave him this opportunity. Peter took it.

Walking on water isn't proof of devotion. Running (or swimming) to Jesus is spite of yourself is a demonstration of Christ centered faith.

Only a friend would have told that story. I think John knew Peter's guilt and had watched him suffer personally for his failings. John was impacted by what he saw. In his pride for his friend, this story is included because it is big enough to impact us.

I think of my own failures and am reminded by John that Jesus still comes around and waits for me to approach. I don't want to live with the guilt. John teaches me I don't have too. The sacrifice of Jesus is enough. Redemption is mine because of Jesus. Just like Peter I still feel responsible and with a full heart desire a chance to make it right. When I see Jesus I can't help but jump.

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Gratefully

2011-11-21T13:33:00.001-05:00

Yellow, red, cold, dying; of changing days the signs are clear
Surely a season of reflection, Thanksgiving is here
The world in its ways claim a year of nothing but bad
Bankrupt nations, wars, and occupation; it's natural to be sad

Of personal note, please let me competently say
Tasting success in business and baseball is well underway
Children growing strong and marriage passionately sweet
Challenges at home and maturing faith makes life valuable and complete

Family together loving and healthy. We all cheer
A spring break in New York City make new memories so dear
Starting Upside and coaching a blessing hands down
Instructing the best this summer down in Tiger Town

Serving in the Queen City new life is carefully seeded
Uptown is the spot where God's call is faithfully heeded
Reminded of His provision and grace overwhelmingly
A full year, so much, so good I offer this gratefully

Running Again: What I've Learned

2011-11-10T14:47:00.001-05:00

Running is hard on the body. Being an amateur I did not know what I was doing when I started the long distances some 4 years ago. I have learned some things along the way but still consider myself a novice.

There is nothing like adversity to teach the lessons that stick. I have had my share. I am just now back on the running trail after a year of recovering from some hip issues. The miles of pounding caught up to me. I am running again and feeling great.

From me to you the lessons I have learned:
#1) Know your body. Your body has its own voice. Listen carefully and respond accordingly. I am the kind of guy that reads line by line the instructions on the build/fix it yourself project and will not deviate from it. Running smarter means backing off when my energy level is down or cutting back the mileage when my knees start barking. Adjust the running program to fit your body on any given day. I have learned that because of my hip issues I need more rest in between runs, especially in preparation for a long run. I may not run the prescribed distances during a given week but when I run my performance is good, physically and mentally.

#2) Engage your mind. The hardest part about running is not the physical but the mental. Strengthening the mind is an important component of distance running. I have tried lots of things to get stronger mentally. I read, constantly. This helps...I think. I have loaded my ipod with the typical motivational tunes to cheer me on. I have also listened to familiar music to keep me comfortable and entertained. I have even gone wireless. No earbuds, period. The familiar stuff tends to neither motivate nor entertain. For me, it becomes background noise for my brain to focus on the physical and mental distress of the moment.

Here is where I should say that I do not run recreationally. This is not fun. Competition is fun, but running is not. It is for the competition effect plus the health benefits that I run.

Back to the tunes. Lately, I am running to the orchestral sounds of Tchaikovsky. Because I am not familiar with the music--it is richly complex--my mind becomes engaged. Locked in and focused my run suddenly moves along hardly noticing the physical demands required. My best thinking comes while running. Ideas, plans, prayers, and even questions flow more readily. May I recommend Tchaikovsky's masterpiece opera, Eugene Onegin?

#3) Ignore time during training. I am so competitive that this is a tough one. My über competitive spirit probably is the chief cause of my running injuries. Running hard too soon not only wears the joints prematurely but wears out the mind when seeking top performance every day plus on race day. Just put the miles in and forget the time. The time is irrelevant until you cross the start line. Do the work of conditioning and preparation during training. Compete during the race. Maybe this is not practical advice for those of you trying to qualify for Boston. I care deeply about time, but for now have learned not to care during training. I will save up all that energy for the Pig.

With the words of Forrest Gump, an avid runner himself, I will conclude.

Now, you wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was running.

Triple W: A Philosophy of Winning

2011-11-03T14:05:00.001-04:00

There is a beautiful passage in Isaiah that has inspired me. More than that, these poetic (and purposeful) words have reminded me of God's confirmation of His favor in my life.

The spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To grant those who mourn in Zion,
Giving them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NAS)

A friend and I recently shared a breakfast table discussing the dwindling influence of the (lower case) church and exploring examples from other friends of how God is on the move within the (upper case) church. My friend and I are encouraged to know confirmation of God's favor by granting us success in our desired interests. A new (old) model of ministry, my friend explained, falls outside the context of organizational church but into the places where Christians live and work.

This conversation corresponds with the triple W philosophy of winning, which is a "map" to getting to that ultimate place of personal ministry.

The first stop on the road to personal victory is to Watch. Study and learn. Be attentive with eyes and ears, listening carefully to the voice of God. Observe every detail about others, and especially yourself. Know yourself inside and out, even at the risk of being confronted with scars, warts and deeply embedded thorns. The person who ought to know me best is me. Seeing the living God at work in my life is the point of the Watch. The process of making sense of identity and being (coming to terms with the real me) pumps fresh energy into this otherwise mundane existence.

Next, while the Watch is on, the Work must begin and never end. Success demands hard work. You knew that already. The observations that have been made now require some analysis and conclusions. Form a game plan, adjust when necessary and put in both the time and effort enacting that plan toward the goal. The goal, remember, was/is being realized while watching. The Work then is thinking, decision making, trial and error, networking, risk taking; in other words, blood, sweat and tears.

Finally, while watching and working, it is also important to Wait. This stop on the road can either be the easiest or hardest. For some, to wait is a positive spin on just being lazy, and so becomes a justified step although misguided. For others, impatience makes waiting almost impossible. This is tricky. Waiting is simply developing patience and not jumping too quickly or too slowly at opportunities. It is sifting through the mine of glowing rocks discovered at the Work stop and determining if the rocks are gems or just shiny rocks. Waiting requires productive inaction. Wait, this does make sense. Waiting requires action but of the wise sort. It is being smart and letting the best stuff come to you.

Watch--Work--Wait. Winning means success and living a life that comes a little easier on most days because despite the normal challenges, being what God intended is so refreshing and exciting and inspirational and productive. The Church marches on as we serve and love each other, sinner and saint alike, enjoying the fabric of our own skin. Not hiding behind the walls of history or being threatened by the noose of doctrine, the Church lives and breathes and praises God by simply offering the greatest gift we can give...ourselves.

Finding Pleasure in the Grind

2011-10-13T10:43:00.000-04:00

How do you get from here to there?

Pursuing dreams and realizing goals accomplished is of course an important pursuit. And for those who are into all that "chase your dreams" stuff, that pursuit is a valid answer to the above question. I've written a post or two about goals and dreams and chasing in the past, so I won't add on here to that specific discussion.

The question persists. Aside from cheating and behavior unbecoming of a decent human being (if there is such a thing--decency that is) how does one accomplish anything of value? Answer: Pay attention to the little things in life and find enjoyment in those small moments. I like to refer to the day-to-day movements of life as the "grind." To find pleasure in the grind means to find purpose in tasks that are as interesting as grandmother's sea shell soap that you're not allowed to use. The mundane needs to be welcomed, not pushed away for some opportunity that never comes. Know your routine and follow that guide daily. In fact, create a routine that is made of building blocks. Stack daily successes one on top of the other until those blocks have created something of beauty.

An aspiring gourmet chef must scrub pots and pans for a long while before their opportunity to inventory produce comes. A salesman must make call after call after call (repeat) before getting that one 15 minute appointment with a potential customer. A parent must communicate and model their expectations to their children every day for 18 plus years before sending them out into the world alone.

Seth says to "First Make Rice" and Dan interviews Josh Shipp and explains this concept in terms of breaking it down into smaller parts. Both of these individuals I read regularly and believe you should too. These guys are much smarter than me.

Don't wait until your desired creation emerges to enjoy it. Love it now before it's fully formed. Like an artist, excel in the craft of creating. Find joy in the process. Grind it out. The end of a 162 game baseball season will come. When the end arrives maybe you'll find yourself in the playoffs.

Do what you have to do today or else tomorrow won't matter.

A Table

2011-09-09T10:13:00.000-04:00

(poem written for and enclosed in the birthday card to my wife)

A Table

Standing in a room, stoic and strong
The grains move about like a well written song
Legs four always together and never bending
The top smooth and useful, ever extending

A grand host so many things to do
Place settings for family meals, especially cheese fondue
Clean and clear for Lego pieces piled up
Quiet for family to talk over a steaming cup

A piece of furniture, it holds an esteemed place
The centerpiece of the home, a symbol of grace
Not a spot to stash and store junk waiting to get rid of
But a gathering place for all to receive love, love, love

Locker#169

2011-07-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

I have now returned from beautiful Tiger Town in Lakeland, Florida where I had a remarkable experience.

My dream as a boy was to make the big leagues. Originally the thought was to make it as a player. My athletic, baseball playing days have come and gone. Now, as a professional instructor, I consider my time at the Detroit Tigers training complex the closest I've come to the major leagues...so far.

I spent 3 weeks as an instructor for the Doyle Baseball Academy. I had the honor to work along side the best baseball instructors on the globe. I am forever grateful. Also, I had the opportunity to instruct many great athletes. Some of the best 18U baseball players from around the world attend the Doyle Academy. Many of these players will play at the college and professional level.

There is so much to report, but the one thing that stood out to me was the display of respect. There are three particular examples. First, the rapport between the instructors was amazing. The styles, experience and knowledge among the group was quite diverse but the one thing that linked us all together was our mutual passion for the game and the development of kids in baseball and in life.

And for the athletes themselves, their respect for each other was nothing short of spectacular. Watching the players interact and help each other improve was refreshing. Keep in mind that the ages participating in the academy was 12-18 which gives an indication of the varying skill levels of the players. Junior and Senior Academy athletes had no problem partnering during drills and learning together.

Finally, the most surprising display of respect was of the on site professional players toward the academy athletes and coaching staff. Many of the GCL Tigers made themselves available to the players and coaches. It was cool to see the interest taken by the pros toward the academy. There was a couple of days when the academy was on the field competing in game play when visiting pro teams (Blue Jays & Yankees) stopped to watch. I confess my focus was diverted a few minutes watching these pros watching my guys. Of course the academy players thought this was something special. It was! The best compliment to them as players was their attention.

Locker # 169 has been cleaned out with nothing left behind. I have taken with me some great memories, new friends and a fresh outlook toward what God is doing in my life.

Faith As A Practical Matter

2011-07-01T10:56:00.000-04:00

For too long in my life I viewed faith as an intellectual proposition. Intellect is involved but the longer I live the more I know that my faith is best defined by my actions--attitude and behavior. As corny as the hymn sounds, the lyric is way true: "And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love."

Studying the book of James these past few months, this lesson is obvious. James is a pastor at heart and he is clear that demonstrating our being is a big deal. The question I continued to ask as I read was of the chicken and egg variety. What comes first--faith (right belief) or action? James is, after all, writing to Christians who have their theology down. This letter is a dummy's guide to living it; seriously, living it.

Throughout my study I was struck by how practically James thinks. Not much raw theology here like Paul's writings but heavy on life application. I can imagine James as he writes this letter, writhing with emotion. I can see the passion and feel the heartache as he thinks of his brother, the Christ. James is full of love as he writes, desperately wanting to shepherd the Christians who would be reading this letter.

In an extremely random way, the image shown above can be a metaphor for James' message about faith and action. My faith is square. It has boundaries and limits. Most of the time, I know what I believe and can articulate it. When you get to the center of faith, that is, the essence of what faith is, demonstration and application matter. If un-fairness (or greed, pride, selfishness, or whatever you deal with) isn't reported in my life then what reason (or right for that matter) do I have to declare I live in a square house? I guess what I am suggesting is that we cannot have one without the other. Faith without works is truly dead. Character generated from faith is real religion.

Maybe this is why, as Christians, our message often sounds stale and out of touch. Often the hearers of the message cannot see and understand the purpose of our declaration. "Show me, don't tell me," they say. Because that utterance is tough to defend I say, "agreed".

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:5-8 (NIV)

Upside Baseball

2011-06-17T10:15:00.000-04:00

Several weeks ago I wrote right here that something big was coming. That something big is here and ready to be announced.

Please don't misunderstand. This is NOT another 'Bron prime time decision, all drawn out to maximize ratings. No, I am not moving to Miami, although I hear the weather and culture is very appealing.

The something big is that I am now a business owner! Upside Baseball it is called, and I offer private baseball skill lessons and character development mentoring to kids ages 5 plus. Customized lesson plans and success tracking devices are features of this new venture. The benefit, of course, is a baseball experience for the whole person; improved playing skills and maturing character all wrapped together.

I am just underway and there is still lots to do. The website is not up and running quite yet but the facebook fan page is so search "Upside Baseball" and click "like". Tell all your friends too.

Now go outside and play catch. It is a great pick-me-up.

Real World Theology

2011-05-20T11:22:00.000-04:00

I wonder what it's like to be the rainmaker?
I wonder what it's like to know that I make the rain?

I would store it in boxes and be completely selfish, letting it out only to show off. Rain storms would truly be storms, meant to push my authority onto the world. See how big I am would ya!

God, the rainmaker, has a different purpose; that purpose much greater than I can understand completely. Because of his great love, he sends the rains to nourish the earth; growing the new and purging the spent. The beauty in every space is from God who is a creative creator.

I wonder what it's like to be a superhero?
I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown?

I would get a high off impressing people with my powers. Helping others in peril wold be about me, not them. My friends would be pissed at me for being a showoff stuck on myself.

Jesus, my superhero, was about using his power; healing and forgiving those who approached him seeking relief. Instead of these miracles propelling him to mass popularity, his actions of grace and mercy lead him to his death. For God's glory, Jesus did these things; feeling the hurt of rejection and the weight of sin.

I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho?
I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said?

I would shout out orders, demanding I be served. My interests would be first, not considering how my demands would change everything. Being the boss does not inspire relationships but produces loneliness.

The Holy Spirit, the head honcho, is a still voice speaking into my life the things of God. Everyday, the Spirit is hanging around because he lives within me. Shaping my thoughts, moving my heart, directing my steps; the Spirit does not force himself upon me. He gently asks me to follow God.

This is the real world. This life is a hassle and daily grind. God is in control. Nothing is beyond his power. Jesus came to demonstrate his Father's great love for us and to give us hope for his kingdom that is coming. The Holy Spirit is motivating and moving us to that bright future when all the hassle will be gone.

Hang in. The real-real world will be glorious!

Something Big

2011-05-06T16:33:00.000-04:00

This is a big week. Something important is happening and I am experiencing conflicting emotions.

Some of you know that there was a period in my life where I was just going through the motions. This was a dark time. I do not want to re-tell this story here, but suffice it to say, I was in a bad place emotionally, which effected me adversely in all areas of my life. What I am announcing here, the reason this is a big week, was born from this bad time. My journey through despair lasted about 2 years, and the path I am on now is about a year and a half in the making.

Drum roll please. (Unofficially) I am a small business owner. This becomes official with confirmation of processed paperwork already in the works. The business is private youth baseball instruction and character development. When confirmation comes I will be able to give more details. My purpose now is to declare that God has cared for me beyond my wildest dreams. The last 3 and a half years have been foundational toward the sense of accomplishment that I am experiencing now. My heart has been re calibrated and my mind cleared and focused. I can dream again.

One of the tools I have learned to use to transfer dreams to reality is affirmation. I have always enjoyed inspirational quotes. Now I do more with them than enjoy; I use these to motivate and inspire. These quotes are used to affirm my desires and movement toward success. One that I have used as I developed a business plan is, "If you build it, he will come." (famously from the film "Field of Dreams"). More significantly, I have been affirmed by God himself. There have been few times I have believed God has spoken directly to me. Last Sunday is one of those times. Experiencing anxiety about the process of starting a business while considering all that could go wrong, I sensed God telling me to do this and shortly after that impression, I was thinking about everything that could go right. I remembered again all the reasons this is important and why I am going for it.

So, yes, this is a Big week. Bigger things are still to come. I am feeling great ambition but also fear. Strangely, I think these two emotions can work well together. I suppose I will find out soon enough.

Here is an affirmation for you: "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

Questions Aren't Bad, Are They?

2011-04-22T10:58:00.000-04:00

In a broad stroke kind of way, epistemology is the search for answers. Philosophers, writers and thinkers in general spend their time in pursuit both for themselves and for others. Theology is the search for answers pertaining to all things God. Pastors, teachers and church leaders devote their lives to know and to deliver the answers to life's difficult questions.

Rob Bell's recent release Love Wins and the controversy surrounding it causes me to question questions. I have not read the book so I have nothing to offer regarding the book itself. Reading some of the critique and viewing the backlash pushes me to think about how I process my faith as I search for answers. I would not call myself a cynic, but I am sure I know very little.

Why is it that when questions or doubts arise, the knee jerk reaction is to ignore or to quickly justify some "answer" that really is meant to distract and push mental distress away. Question askers seem to receive unfair judgement.

Here is mostly all I know. From my own life experiences I am convinced that without sincere questions my life would be too comfortable and lacking significant purpose. Only speaking for myself, in seasons I have encountered great darkness, wrestling with doubts and questions (that mostly go unanswered), these are the times that have produced the most personal growth. Of course, these days were not my happiest but they were significant in that the questions pushed me to think, feel and experience God in a deeply personal way.

Answers are nice but not always necessary.

Can the Reds Repeat?

2011-03-25T10:47:00.001-04:00

Here it is, on the eve of a new baseball season, my picks. Feel free to use these in Vegas if you wish. Zero commission--my treat.

American League
The teams to beat are the Red Sox and Yankees as usual, in addition to the Angels and White Sox. The central division is the hardest to pick as the Tigers and Twins will also push for the top. Toss up. The team to watch and may surprise is the A's. This team has young pitching in a division that is rather weak. The Mariners are probably the weakest team in the league which also helps the A's. It's hard not to take the Red Sox as the AL World Series participant.

National League
I think the senior circuit division races will be crazy this year. I think each division could have multiple challengers. My picks are the Phillies, Braves, Giants and Reds. Most "experts" are picking the Phillies but the Braves are every bit as good. In the central, the Brewers look the best on paper but with a new "first time" manager and new pitchers with heightened expectations...I have my doubts. I think the total disaster team this year won't be the Pirates, for a change. The Mets will be brutal!

Conclusion
Baseball has a lot of parody these days. Once the playoff teams are set, who knows? The season basically comes down to two factors, 1) pitching and 2) injuries. If you can increase #1 and minimize #2 then you got a shot. So, can the Reds repeat and make it to the Series? I don't know. Shrug.

Go Braves!

George [Steinbrenner] thinks that money makes everything right. But money is the root of all evil. It's harder to get a rich man into heaven than it is to get a camel through the eye of a needle, and I didn't make that up. --Reggie Jackson

Outlook & Perspective

2011-03-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

Imagine being thrown in prison for just having a message and delivering it. Talking it up real big, not holding back. Publicly expressing beliefs and ideas isn't a crime. Sure, feelings are hurt and offense is given, but it's not murder. How would you respond if this was your situation? Would you feel rage at being accused? Would it not be expected behavior to snarl and glare at the jailer? Bad mouthing the administration would be an understandable response.

Speaking for myself, I can imagine how I would react to such an injustice. Complaining, bitterness, resentment, holding a grudge, disrespectfully loud, and maybe even aggression would be my response. Sadly.

The missionary and tent maker, Paul, writer of the letter to the Philippians, responds with much more control. He writes this letter from prison without the slightest suggestion of injustice. In fact, Paul writes as if to say "no big deal, this is the stuff perseverance is made of." Paul has learned the secret of contentment. I think that "secret" is his focus on the mission and his hope in the future. Paul couldn't dwell on the lousy present because he was looking intently to the future. Christ's return and resurrection of the dead causes Paul to consider these troubles as contributions to the advance of the message. Paul is hopeful, not discouraged, cynical or enraged. He can't help but encourage the Philippians knowing the struggles of the church are for its benefit. Perseverance keeps our eyes on the prize. Seeing God finish what he started; now that's something to push toward.

To be content is to see the big picture and committing to being "all in" to that result. Regardless of circumstance or opposition the work of God through Christ continues and will be completed. That is Paul's message to the Philippians. And to me.
...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (2:12 NIV)

Wristband Discipline

2011-02-15T15:54:00.000-05:00

Discipline is a controversial topic. Fires get lit when the topic comes up among parents. Usually this is because discipline is wrongly understood and treated as a hard science. Let's start here: discipline is not another word for punishment. It is the process by which ideas, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are learned. Of course, all of these learned behaviors can be classified "good" or "bad". Strike and burn!

Consider the paragraph above as a preface to a recent personal experience. As a parent myself I have wanted to improve how I respond to my children in certain situations. When it comes to high drama, conflict filled, emotion saturated environments I often break down. I get stressed and that burn often resorts to speaking louder or (too) swiftly dishing out consequences. Patience is not a quality I hold in excess.

It got to a point that I was extrememly disappointed in my ability to take the time to calmly ask questions and logically manage a situation involving my kids. Understanding the concept of discipline as I do, I realized I needed some. So I decided I was going to teach myself to produce more positive and patient responses when the household stress-o-meter got jacked up. I found one of those rubber bracelets that were all the rage not so long ago. This wristband became a visual reminder for me to request patience in my prayers and a cue by which to actively pursue becoming a better father. Whenever my stress level won out and I acted in haste, I would move the wristband from one arm to the other. Let me be honest. That transfer usually didn't happen right away. Often an hour or two would pass before I would realize my reaction. When I changed wrists I marked it in my journal with the date. My goal was to string together 21 straight days of the bracelet resting on a wrist with zero transfers. When I blew it, the episode was noted and the count would start over again. I wasn't convinced this would work because after all, I'm not a Pavlovian dog, I am a man. Worse!

Let me report that Christmas Day marked the 21st straight day of a certain brand of patience I was pursusing. The perfect gift from God as the family celebrated together. It only took me some 58 days total for 21 straight. Twice during that time I made it to 20 days and relapsed. I'm reporting on this now, some 2 months later, because I was reminded again this week in my devotions that God "works in me to will and to act according to his good purpose." The wristband thing worked. God acted and is changing me.

There is a reason school teachers send home dozens of math problems to do every night. The coach has something particular in mind when demanding hours upon hours of drills. It's hard work ramping up to some 25-35 running miles a week preparing to race a half marathon. Discipline is the process of developing habits. It takes practice; that is, repitition over and over again until the lesson is engrained.

Good thing I get 18 years to "raise" my kids. I am glady taking everyone of those days and grasping tightly. I need these years as much as them.

Trash To Treasure Segment

2011-01-28T15:48:00.000-05:00

My brilliant wife had a brilliant idea a few weeks ago. Typical. I can't get it out of my mind.

You see, she has always wanted a king sized bed. Our bedroom space has never been large enough for such an item. A couple of years back, we (she) re-assigned our bedrooms to give us the kind of space we have never had before. Our mid-western style cape cod has an attic room which is roughly the size of the living room and kitchen combined. We took the attic as the master suite while the kids share rooms on the main level.

Immediately, visions of royalty entered Hilary's mind as she sensed her wait for a king soon would be over. Little did either of us know that getting the queen up to the castle would be a great challenge. In fact, without the help of a neighbor we would still be in the normal sized bedroom we once occupied.

Mattresses are large and heavy, but spongy and flexible. It was no problem folding that thing in half and hoisting it up the flight of stairs to the attic. The box springs--now, that is a different proposition. A rectangular frame made from wood does not go straight up the stairs at that angle. Long story short, my neighbor helped me decide what horizontal segment of the frame to saw in half in order to get the "flex" we needed to beat the awkward angle created by the steepness of the staircase and the doorframe. After a couple of hours wrestling with this thing, I was convinced that there was no way a king sized bed was going to happen.

Back to present, I am now convinced that Hilary has not stopped thinking about how to get her coveted king. She read somewhere about a person who made their own bed out of loading pallets. Yes, those wood frames that fork lift drivers use to move freight around quickly. They stack up quickly outside of warehouses and grocery stores. She told me I ought to make her a king sized bed out of these.

It really is a great idea. Smile.

Life Is In The Nitty Gritty

2011-01-14T10:25:00.000-05:00

Life is in the details. I mean real, meaningful life is wrapped up in the building blocks of how our days are spent and experienced. I am a details guy so it is easy for me to say and even easier to understand what I am actually thinking (translating thought to page is a different matter).

A song by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band called "Long Dirt Road (The Sharecropper's Dream)" has prompted my thinking. I have dreams and sometimes the details surrounding me get in the way. From the other side, if I did not encounter these circumstances, difficulties and short comings, would there be anything to work for? And if I did achieve anything of value, could I enjoy it?

The long hard road of life can either stop me from living my dreams or become a stepping stone to fulfillment and satisfaction. I have included the lyrics of this song from the "Plain Dirt Fashion" album:

Way back in my memory there's a scene that I recall

Of a little run-down cabin in the woods

Where my dad never promised that our blue moon would turn gold

But he laid awake nights wishin' that it would.

When the world was on our radio, hard work was on our minds.

We lived our day-to-day in plain dirt fashion,

With ol' overalls and cotton balls all strapped across your back

Man, it's hard to make believe there ain't nothing wrong.

But momma kept the Bible read and daddy kept our family fed,

And somewhere in between I must have grown

Cause someday I was dreamin' that a song that I was singin'

Takes me down the road to where I want to go.

Now I know, it's a long hard road

Sometimes I remember when I stay up late at night,

When the sun-up came, we got up and went

In the shadows of a working' day, our moonlight hours spent

Singin' songs along with gramma's radio.

Now I'm beatin' down a ol' blacktop road, sleepin' in a sack,

Livin' in my memories all in vain

'cause those city lights ain't all that bright, compared to what it's like

To see lightning bugs go dancin' in the rain.

Momma played the guitar then, and daddy made the saw blade bend,

And raindrops played the tin roof like a drum.

But I just kept on dreamin' that a song that I was singin'

Takes me down the road to where my name is known.

Now I'm gone, and it's a long hard road

Yes, I know, it's a long hard road.

Christmas and Joseph (The Other One...Think Fancy Coat)

2010-12-23T13:37:00.000-05:00

I recently happened upon an Abraham Lincoln quote and even though his leadership quips are posted everywhere, this one in particular made my hyper-paced, undernourished brain stop. The quote attributed to Lincoln is, "I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance with come." This is food for my brain that is connecting to several other patterns of thought in my life right now.

One of those connectors is my study of Joseph. Not Jesus' flesh and bones father but the one that came before, Jacob's son. The reason why the ancient stories of the Scriptures continue to resonate to the masses throughout the generations is that the stories told are our stories. We place ourselves in these stories because they remind us of ourselves; our own doubt, sin, faithlessness, struggle to know God and the hardness of life's circumstances.

Joseph's story is different for me. I don't so much read it (Genesis 37-50) and reflect on how my life is like his. There are parts of his story that are just brutal: hated by his brothers, sold as a slave twice, hunted sexually by the wife of his boss, imprisoned wrongly, plus the pressures of governmental leadership during national crisis. Simply put, I cannot relate to Joseph at all.

Joseph's character was off the charts. Despite all these circumstances he persevered through it all. Joseph did not waiver on remaining faithful. He was committed to the day and what was before him. He seemingly saw every challenge as an opportunity. Because of his faithful persistence, he pleased those all around him and became a highly productive member of Egyptian government. He excelled in service and responsibility. Any task given to him Joseph was sure to take serious and execute very well (Luke 16: 10-12).

The extreme faith of Joseph fueled his attitude. Considering the circumstances and personal trials he managed and overcame, Joseph's focus was to stay the course and honor God even when his life didn't present good reason to. Even at the end of his life Joseph says to his brothers who sold him into slavery, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." And yet Joseph's perspective, it seems, is in the context of a seven year famine and the prevention of massive starvation. Could Joseph have known that the gathering of God's people in Egypt would only leave to more misery and ultimately to a whole nation enslaved (for generations)? He didn't need to know because Joseph was faithful in the moments he stood. God's plan was to gather His people for an eventual exodus and a fulfilled promise of a place to call home. Joseph's part was to gather the food during the harvest and feed the people during the famine. He did that.

On this Christmas Eve-Eve my reflections turn to Mary, Jesus' mother. Her story repeats an important element of Joseph's life. Mary was faithful even when her life suddenly undergoes massive upheaval. The personal price she paid must have been pretty steep. The cultural backlash surely was intense. But think of it, Mary was the one to nurture this baby and to introduce him over and over simply by responding to the question asked her regarding his name. "His name is Jesus", Mary says, undoubtedly hundreds of times.

The story of Joseph is important not because I identify with him as a person, but because he is a man I want to emulate. I want that kind of faith. I want to persevere because I am satisfied in my part of God's plan. I want to manage my life with such confidence in my God that whatever comes my way would just be treated as an opportunity to be faithful.

As Christmas is enjoyed and the new year appears, let's "study and get ready" because our chance is here.

Ken Burns: Home. The Intro to the World Series on FOX

2010-12-11T14:47:00.001-05:00

Little + Little + Little = Big

2010-10-24T08:45:00.004-04:00

A bounding ball, sharply hit to short, fielded and thrown to second. Straddling the bag, the second baseman catches, pivots and fires the ball onward. Stretching with focused reach, the man at first catches the ball only slightly before the batter comes down on the base with a stomp. Double play.

Enjoying the MLB playoffs makes me think of how much details matter. In baseball, a double play is huge, especially in October. Not counting the simplest of the tasks required in turning a double play--catching a thrown ball--there are 5 actions that need to be executed. Since catching the ball is required to make outs the number of required actions increases to 7.

(1) The pitcher hurls an appropriately located pitch to induce a grounder. (2) The shortstop (using the above example) fields the baseball cleanly. (3) The ball is then thrown accurately to the second baseman. (4) The second baseman catches and (5) pivots, using precise footwork to avoid the on coming runner, (6) throws the ball to first base quickly enough to beat the batter racing down the baseline. (7) A good throw is caught by the first baseman before the batter reaches the base. If any of these 7 little actions break down and do not happen just so, the big result is lost.

High performance depends on the execution of the small things that really are the building blocks of the achievement itself. I believe this principle applies to most any area of effort that has vision behind it.

Broken down into small parts, exceptional parenting showcases this concept. Good parents listen and communicate well. Discipline is taken seriously, paying attention to both instruction of good behavior and correction of misbehavior. Clear expectations are set, outside influences are filtered, opportunities for safe exploration are allowed, and other things (this can become a long list) are all managed by quality parents with well adjusted and high functioning kids the prize.

Business, project management and leadership are other areas where the little things add up to something special. Of course, the opposite is true; when the details are ignored or become secondary, the results are less than ideal. Just like beauty, results are in the eye of the beholder. What I consider bad and not in good taste is another's pride. But that is another subject altogether.

Work hard on the details and the big stuff will come together.

Baseball Tour: St. Louis

2010-09-22T17:22:00.005-04:00

The baseball tour rolls on in spite of the belief that this summer would be an "off" year. I have friends from central Illinois to thank for making a tour stop happen this summer. On August 21st, my friends and I visited Busch Stadium part III for the Cardinals vs. Giants. As Cardinal fans, my friends have been there several times. Me, this was my first visit.

Busch Stadium is right out of the modern mold of the retro stadium expect that this style is no longer retro (over use). The overall appearance of the stadium was good, especially the brick work. The open view exposes the surrounding skyline including the spectacular Arch. Just like Cincinnati, this new ballpark is far and away better that the previous one. The concrete donuts were just dumb construction and an eye sore artistically.

Anyway, we had a great time. Along with our game tickets, we received pre-game passes to Founders Day Appreciation. This experience was a real treat. We enjoyed on-field access where we walked along the warning track; circling the playing field, then explored both home and visitor dugouts. The St. Louis ball club was even so kind to serve lunch free. All-you-can-eat lunch! All together, I ate 2 hot dogs, 1 brat, 1 box of popcorn, 2 cokes and a novelty ice cream. I had a snack later during the game. Throw in the fact that I retrieved 3 player autographs and this experience was terrific. Nothing like going to the ballpark with friends.

Thanks guys! I can cross another major league city from the list.

The Opportunity of "Inactivity"

2010-08-26T17:01:00.005-04:00

Daniel Okrent, an award winning writer, has the same addiction I do: a love of baseball. He was a significant contributor in the Baseball documentary by Ken Burns. Okrent describes the game in the Burns film as a game of inactivity. He explains that baseball gives the appearance of purposeless action but that this view is to misunderstand the game. This perceived "inactivity" is really highly directed activity that the casual fan or an antagonist to the game understands as a flaw. Okrent argues that the pace of baseball and the moments when it seems the action has stopped is what makes the game so great. He is right! In these perceived gaps of action are the moments of gamesmanship: strategy, signaling, sign stealing, grabbing an extra extra step in the basepaths, leaning one way or the other in defensive positioning, making the batter wait, making the pitcher wait, etc. The development of the dramatic happen in these so called slow moments.

There is a lesson here that applies to achievement of personal goals and hopes for our lives. For anyone that we consider hugely successful I contend that more likely than not the successful devote large amounts of time in quiet "inactivity." Slowing themselves down to understand the setting, circumstances and resources needed for winning. These are activities that to the casual observer are not noticed.

What thought have you given to the next 5 years? How much time is devoted to planning your success? When is the last time you have sat alone day dreaming? How will you measure your progress? These are important questions to answer, the glory-less sort of activity that generates purpose and direction. Significant success does not happen by chance. The hard work is going on while the action has slowed. There lies the advantage.

Greatness Always Requires Sacrifice

2010-07-09T13:48:00.004-04:00

Soon I will be 34 years old and I know that these are the most important days of my life. I am a husband and father and so the search for significance is easy. The opportunity for impact is built in--naturally. The pursuit of success in these roles is the most difficult challenge facing me.

How does a person my age handle such a realization? Ah, you ask which one, the most important days idea or the pursuit of success thing? My response--both! These concepts are intertwined. I want the rest of my days to be full of success.

Sine greatness always requires sacrifice, what are the things that must go in order for my most important days to produce the most important outcomes? I believe a list is in order.

Ignoring Myself

Yes, I am the most important person in my pursuit of greatness. Don't think of this statement as an arrogant, self-absorbed commentary on the depravity of man. I must throw off this kind of false humility that suggests human capital should extend exclusively upon others. I realize more than ever that I need to invest in myself. Not just for my benefit but for the benefit of others. I want to be the best I can be so that I have something of worth to give to those I love most. Please hear me clearly. I do not want to be an achievement monger or a shallow, isolated me worshipper. With something bigger than myself in mind, I simply want to prepare and be trained in bringing out the best of who I was created to be.

Temporary Pleasure

If I had a dollar for every decision I have made that meant immediate gratification then financial independence would be mine. Because I made so many such decisions, the money I could have is elsewhere because I had to have something right now. How stupid! Of course, consumerism is not the only example. Decisions regarding relationships and even eating choices can also fall under the "I need this right now" category. Doing everything on purpose sets up success. The biggest and most important question to ask is "Why?" Being able to answer honestly is identifying purpose. Purpose eliminates distractions and keeps the flames of focus burning. This is foundational, without purpose, nothing else matters.

Expectations Set By Others

I used to care a lot about what other people thought. I still care a little; at least enough to make a judgment on whether I should stick close to that person or put up a friendly barrier. I want to be sure that I run with those who are supportive and encouraging. It is much easier to keep pressing on when you have fans. For those who just want to be sure that I know their opinion and their disapproval, I am learning not to take it personally or let them hold me back. Sure, a little constructive criticism is helpful at times, but when the words are consistently negative and said in a spirit of defeat, then the best course of action is to keep a distance. Success is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Since I determine what success is, setting goals is an activity of utmost importance. My expectations, that is, what I know to be most important become clear when goals are established.

Unplanned Time

I believe one of the biggest barriers to success and ultimately a joyful life is wasted time. Time is my most valuable resource. Planning, although time consuming, is time well spent. Creating an action plan toward the accomplishment of goals is a compass always pointing in the right direction. When there is uncertainty on what to do then there is bound to be worthless (less worth) activities that creep in and steal energy away from potential accomplishment. The mathematical odds suggests that if you plan for success you'll be more likely to get there than if you made no plan at all. There is no two ways around it; the numbers don't lie.

Here is the plan. Now the doing part which means identifying the trash and throwing it out.

Simple Thinking on the Kingdom of God

2010-06-02T14:40:00.004-04:00

In thinking about kingdoms and in particular the kingdom of God, I feel compelled to consider what the characteristics of earthly kingdoms are as a way of comparison. After all, how can red be understood unless blue has been experienced? The kingdoms that quickly come to mind are Nazi Germany, Communist Russia, colonial America and the historic Magic Kingdom in Orlando.

After review of some significant Scriptures with the kingdom of God at there core, I found two important elements that seem to repeat in these passages. The first is the kingdom of God is a spiritual reality. There is a certain energy present when a group of like-minded individuals come together with a unified focus. That focus is galvanized with point-of-view, attitude, sense of purpose and a shared hope for the future. The apostle Paul writes, "for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14:17, NAS). Within the earthly kingdoms that we know, isn't a foundational value system a characteristic that makes it go? It was an extremely rouge understanding of Darwinian thought integrated into political ideology that fueled the rise of Nazi Germany. The kingdom of God also operates with specific, unwavering belief; that is, love for Christ, righteousness, joy and a life that has been changed from inward to outward.

Another important element found within this study is that the kingdom of God is physical. A set of beliefs and attitudes shape and motivate behaviors that will bring tangible results. A physical kingdom has boundaries, a leader and a place within history because of how history has been made. Jesus spoke to Peter, his disciple, and said,

I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven (Matthew 16:17-20, NAS).

Here it's clear that all of these physical characteristics exists within God's kingdom. His kingdom encompasses both Heaven and Earth and is known in history as the church, which as the leader, Jesus, claims it as His own.

The physical attributes of established rule seem the easiest to spot either because of the dynamic personality of the leader or the societal influence upon the nation. To some, this is true concerning God's kingdom. To experience it is to receive love no strings attached. To others, God is not real and faith in an invisible God is a difficult concept to accept. This objection will cease because the Scriptures teach that Christ will reign with his people. See Revelation 20:4.

Honestly, understanding the kingdom of God is a huge undertaking. Most of the scriptural teaching is packed in Jesus' parables. I think I should spend most of my time here. The most important thing I can do as I seek greater understanding of the kingdom is to deepen my faith in these core beliefs of Christ and to wait expectantly for his return. The King will return.

Baseball Tour Recap

2010-05-19T10:40:00.002-04:00

I made it out to Great American Ballpark this past Saturday night for my first MLB experience of the summer. What a game to get it started. I realized when I received my tickets that this would be the annual Civil Rights Game. Little did I know when I arrived that I would see Henry Aaron, Ernie Banks, Willie Mays and Frank Robinson. There were other notables there like Laila Ali and Harry Belafonte but it was these baseball icons that made me light up like a kid on Christmas morning. Bonus! There was still a game to be played.

Seeing baseball royalty up close and personal got me thinking about my baseball tour journeyed through the years. My experiences have all been unique. So the idea of this post came from considering these moments in time and wondering how to best judge them. Here is a list ranking the tour moments:

10) Detroit--It is hard to be fair when considering my time in Detroit. I had the opportunity to visit Tiger Stadium before it was demolished. My only reason for being in Detroit was to visit the Stadium so it isn't fair for me to critique the city itself. All I saw was a crumbling town full of chaos and demise. Even the stadium itself was falling apart. I remember thinking when I was walking in the concourse under the grandstand that "I hope it doesn't fall in on me". I need to go back and visit the new stadium and spend some time exploring Detroit as I'm sure there are some interesting and positive sights.

9) Anaheim--Aside from the fact that the Angles play in southern California and that they are consistently a pretty good team, there is really not much to say. The stadium is rather boring and Anaheim seems to be a rather regular suburban community.

8) San Diego--By far, this is my favorite major league city. The stadium is one of the newer ones and it has its features. Like the warehouse out in left that was fitted into the new construction of the stadium and the beach out behind the right-center field fence. My friends and I happened to sit in the all-you-can eat section which was great since hot dogs are my favorite meat. None of these things though make it my fav baseball city. It's the weather and the beaches and the Mexican influence on food that makes it the perfect city.

7) Baltimore--I had looked forward to visiting Camden Yards at Oriole Park since it opened back during the Cal Ripken days. This is a good ball park with all the brick work and open feel. I remember that it was also very comfortable. The only negative is the team itself. The Orioles stink!

6) Atlanta--I must confess that Atlanta made it this high on the list because the Braves are my favorite team. I am fully aware that most journalism rankings put Atlanta as one of the worst sports towns in North America. Whatever. I don't have Atlanta in this spot because of the city but because of the team. My first trip to Atlanta was to see the Braves in Fulton Co. Stadium. I didn't pay attention much as this trip was a 14th birthday present. I was too excited about seeing my team up close. My second trip to Atlanta was just a couple of years following the Olympics which produced what is now Turner Field. Good venue to watch a game but nothing spectacular. I would be remiss to ignore the run of 14 straight division titles the Braves rattled off.

5) Cincinnati--I believe the old Queen City could once again be a big time baseball town. It just needs a good team on the field. As I write this the Reds are in first place. The history is rich and the roster of all-time greats is long. I live here, so of course, I get to enjoy the ball park and team regularly. Riverfront Stadium (Cinergy) was terrible. I remember as a young kid thinking how poor a stadium it was with the doughnut shaped configuration and Astro Turf playing surface. Yuck! It was hard to see the players and the ball. Great American Ball Park is so much better. The view from almost anywhere is really good and the open feel helps make viewing more comfortable. The LaRosa's pizza is a big negative.

4) LA--Dodger Stadium was one of those classic ball parks I've always wished to see. I finally did last summer and it was as good as I'd hoped. The ball park is big and wide open which fits the personality of the city. What's not to love about southern California besides the traffic and smog? The Dodgers are one of the few historic baseball franchises with mega stars at every turn in their history. The Dodger dog and garlic fries are a must.

3) NY (Bronx)--Two summers ago I had the privilege of visiting old Yankee Stadium before it was closed. Even better was the particular game we saw which matched the Red Sox versus Yankees on the ESPN Sunday Night Game. The bitter rivalry made it all the better. The stadium was alright, nothing unique in my opinion, other than the history of players who played on that same diamond. It was "the house that Ruth built." The NY fans live and die with their Yankees. It's personal when they lose. It's the passion that makes NY a great baseball city.

2) Chicago--The combination of the city and the stadium is what makes Chicago a great place to see a ball game. The Cubs stink. Nothing new in that regard. Visiting Wrigley Field is a great experience; probably my favorite park. Everything about it is unique. Wrigley sits right smack dab within an old neighborhood with lots of surrounding eats and drinks to enjoy before and after. The ivy is what it is most famous for but the 3 piece brass ensemble is fun as well as the party that's going on in the bleachers. Always a full house, the atmosphere is fun-loving and energetic. I've also visited the south side with a game at new Comiskey which has since sold out to a corporate sponsor. The White Sox are a better team overall but not good enough to overcome the party going on by the lake.

1) Boston--By far, Boston is the best baseball town there is. Three hours before the game the crowd is shoulder to shoulder gathered outside. There are tons of great eats and drinks surrounding including The Bleacher Bar, situated just behind the Green Monster. We happened to view batting practice from our seats at the bar. Very cool. The memorabilia and gift shops are massive and many. The fans are passionate and yet friendly. Fenway Park is a great place to watch a game. It's small and cramped because the place gets sold out every game plus the seats are original; narrow and hard. Every pitch matters to every fan in the park. It's the game they have come for, not the park necessarily. The fans of Boston understand that the entertainment is with the baseball game itself.

Recap--I wrote this because it is unlikely that the tour will continue this summer. The tour isn't stopped, only paused. I'll give a full report once I'm back on the road. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the first place Reds (while it lasts).

Free* Experience

2010-04-13T14:51:00.004-04:00

My Free* experience is now done. The group, that is--the freedom part is taking root. We Christ followers here in Cincinnati engaged in a city wide study/journey exploring what it would mean to be free in Christ. Thousands of us, including many who are not yet Christ followers, met in small groups throughout the city to unpack what freedom looks like in our lives. It was a good ride or shall I say "is a good ride".

For me I can say without reservation that this experience reinforced and confirmed some of the thoughts and issues I had been dealing with in my personal life for some 6 months prior. The group and the journal simply helped me organize my thoughts and helped steer the execution of chain breaking. This was truly an exercise of self discovery.

At times the experience was harsh. To fill in answers in the weekly journal only to turn the page and read a description that painted me as a big jerk was just rude. But needed. That is the beauty of the Church, to be surrounded by a people who want God's best for you and are willing to help you receive whatever it is.

As a result, I believe I am as close to contentment with my life as I have ever been. You know the most important thing I learned? I discovered who it is that creates the most confusion and discord in my life. It's me. I do. In my search for greatness I have ignored the fact that God's criteria for greatness is not my own. One size fits all does not apply here. The rejection and unlove that I often feel is from the lie that somehow I have to earn that love. I think Johnny Lee was onto something when he sang "Looking for love in all the wrong places...".

Freedom then means (in my life's context) pursuing greatness with the resources that God has already given me. He has given me myself. That sounds ridiculous, I know. Sound like a tag line promoting the brand "selfishness". What I mean is that God already thinks I am great and I do not have to prove it. So now instead of trying to out hard work everyone around me for some pie in the sky achievement, all I have to do is use the skills and talents I have been given for purposes that God lays out. That's it.

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. --Paul (Galatians 1:10)

The Cooper Man

2010-04-12T07:39:00.003-04:00

Cooper Doo! from Rebecca Bryan on Vimeo.

From the little known fact department: Our man Cooper is named after the Baseball Hall of Fame. That's how special he is. Now you know!

Wonderful Miss

2010-04-08T22:09:00.005-04:00

Miss Lara Leigh! from Rebecca Bryan on Vimeo.

It is difficult to believe I get to be her father. A privilege for sure!

We hit the JackPot!

2010-04-06T21:08:00.002-04:00

JackPot! from Rebecca Bryan on Vimeo. Enjoy just a smidge of my great life. Great work sis!

Creative Energy

2010-03-30T13:30:00.004-04:00

I have heard it said many times that the best art, music and writing is born from the depths of despair and utter darkness. Is this true? I admit that my favorite books and music are produced by authors and singer/songwriters that have history. C.S. Lewis was an atheist. Johnny Cash was an addict. I think there is something to this, mainly because I'm drawn into their stories and perspectives. Even though these insights can be sorrowful and depressing, they're real. That's why I want to keep listening or reading even though strong emotions and memories come. I can identify with what the creator is showcasing because I've felt those feelings. I can relate to Lewis with my own doubts and questions. The perspectives and beliefs Johnny describes in his songs are not too unlike my own or those around me.

I have been absent from this blog for sometime. I've considered why this is so. My motivation for writing has waned. I do have some other things going on and that is apart of it, but I believe there is more. I am going through a really good time in my life right now. Purpose is as clear now as it has ever been. Some of the broken pieces of my life are being understood and adjustments are being made. This is good. It's work but the good kind. My creative energy is being dispersed in other areas and I don't feel motivated to bare all in this forum. It's fine though really. Because all along I've said that this blog is mostly for me to process and reflect. Writing is therapeutic for me. Right now, I don't need therapy.

If I Were Commish (Act 3)

2010-03-04T15:58:00.010-05:00

I am pretending to be the Commissioner of Baseball and since this is so much fun I must initiate one more action. You can read my first two acts here and here. This last act I think is the most important of the changes I've mentioned because it is doable and would impact the game immediately.

(5) Adjusted Playoff System

As it is set now, four teams from both leagues are awarded spots. The divisional series in each league plays the best of 5 to advance. The problem with this format is that the regular season division winners get ripped on advantage when it comes to playing the wild card teams. In a short 5 game series this format doesn't fully allow whole teams to be showcased. Certain pitchers can be taken out of the equation with fewer games. With a full 7 game series, whole pitching staffs and 25 man rosters are utilized. The teams as displayed during the regular 162 game season remain the teams that play in the first round. No roster jimmy allowed. Then of course keep the same 7 game format for the championship round and then the World Series.

This whole All-Star game winner determining the WS home field is ridiculous. How about a little less progressive government here? This isn't politics, it's baseball. The team with the best regular season record (either league) should retain home field advantage, period. This policy also motivates teams who are running way out ahead in their divisions in September to play it out with their regular starting 9; instead of resting players. The fans don't want to see back-ups play out the season.

When it's time to start the playoffs, get rid of off days. These professionals are used to playing everyday anyway and by now are used to the constant, inconvenient travel. Also, without off days, whole pitching staffs will have to be used. That means you Joe Blanton! When number 4 and possibly number 5 starting pitchers are being used the fans get to see a much more interesting series, not back loaded with the 2 or 3 best pitchers from each team. Balance and wholeness win out here. Plus without off days, the momentum builds quickly for the fans as there is no wait time. As much as I love baseball, I don't want to watch the players in ski masks and hoodies, trying to keep warm...in November!

Finally, start the playoff games earlier. Please! Stop bellyaching about the diminishing interest among youth and then prostitute yourself to the big TV network (read FOX). Don't worry, they will broadcast it anyway, even if you set first pitch at 7:10 pm. Especially for the World Series, set the time so that the casual fans will be able to tune in and watch the whole game. The casual fans that I know only want to watch the last 3 innings but when those innings are between 10:30 and midnight, it become rather difficult. For the kids sake, let them have the opportunity to watch a large portion of the World Series.

That's it, my work here is done. Now let's prepare for another wonderful year of baseball as opening day is approaching shortly. Oh, and a friendly reminder, don't forget to rank your fantasy players before draft day.

If I Were Commish (Act 2)

2010-02-25T09:52:00.006-05:00

This is the second of three parts to a fantasy world where I act as commissioner of Baseball. That's right, I do live in a fantasy world most of the time. How else do you think I can cope? Anyway here are my next acts as commish.

2) Reschedule the World Baseball Classic

This world wide tournament is only played once every four years. Personally, I don't really understand the purpose; I mean isn't there a competition called the Olympics where international baseball is organized? Why have another all-world tournament? Also, Selig says that the point is to help promote baseball internationally. Alright, I can see the WBC as a marketing tool but the countries that participate already have a strong interest in baseball. I haven't heard of Estonia or Nigeria signing up. This is a weak argument on my part because the hope is that the WBC will spark interest in the kids watching their countries perform. Since this tournament is probably viable at some level in terms of entertaining an inspiring international youth, let's discuss when it should be played. As it stands, the WBC is played during the traditional spring training period of Major League Baseball. Owners of MLB clubs obviously have trepidation about sending players to participate. Player salaries are too great to risk injury for a promotional tournament. There are no simple solutions because the MLB season is so long.

As commissioner I would move this promotional tournament to December and January. Players will have had 2 months of rest (except for the World Series participants which is a small number of players) plus most of the players begin their off-season workouts during this time anyway. Keep in mind that many professionals play in winter leagues anyway. Once the tournament is over, these players can have a couple of weeks off before they report to spring training camp. But hey, if you want to just cancel it all together then I'll prepare my rubber stamp.

3) Drop Interleague Play

This will never happen because the revenue gets a huge boost during these games, especially for the small market teams as they enjoy the national interest the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers and Cardinals generate. As commissioner I would just outlaw the fraternization of leagues. The main reason is to create an intrigue between the different styles of baseball represented by the two leagues. I remember as a kid watching the World Series and feeling the mystery of two teams facing off where the players are almost completely unknown to each other. Apart from scouting and video, the players don't possess an upper hand with experience. Watching the skills and play from the very best players in the world unfold naturally and spontaneously makes for great baseball.

If these games are dropped, the regular season schedule could become balanced and the divisional races become more important, especially to those second tier teams trying to earn a wild card bid. These interleague games would be replaced with divisional games. As it stands now, any particular team in a division could play just as many games against the opposing league than an opposing division within their own league. As a way to make this argument more credible I should provide an example. Commissioners don't normally skip the research stage but for now I must keep moving.

4) Drop Instant Replay

Instant replay is stupid. Period. Instant replay makes football stupid. If you want the umpires to make the right call the majority of the time then provide better training, performance based compensation and stronger accountability. Problem solved (although I don't believe there really is a problem).

One more to come...

If I Were Commish (Act 1)

2010-02-19T10:05:00.010-05:00

Pitchers and Catchers have reported and spring is in the air; sort of, I mean if all this snow would disappear. Anyway, there has been talk of Bud Selig retiring as Commissioner of MLB. While we wait for the snow to melt and the real games to start let me wax rant style on what I would do as the next commissioner.

1) Contract and Realign

I understand that baseball is the all-American game and that MLB is the one major American sport that has had extreme success in globalization. Since there has been great strides in world popularity (look at Latin America and Japan) I think the sport could overcome the loss of two Major League teams for the sake of balance and improved play. Which teams you ask. I've hinted at one already. Toronto. What value does a Canadian team bring? Since the Expos are now in D.C. that leaves one lone out of nation club. Not being an insider, it seems that Toronto is a viable market and probably financially secure which alone makes good reason not to contract them. But if I'm commissioner, the reason is to keep everything in house. Not PC I know. This decision feels tighter, cleaner, provides better travel schedules and less hassle (dealing with another country), and makes is easier to answer to a mob of angry fans. I can ignore Canada without losing sleep. Which leads me to the other team I would contract. Oakland. The big reason here is to avoid having two teams sharing the Bay market. Oakland is the smaller of the two and struggles to compete. Axing the A's would enhance the Giants. Answering to the fans here would be much more difficult but hey, that's why the Commish gets the big bucks, right?

Now we have 28 teams instead of 30 which by default makes competition that much better. Less teams makes for less players needed to fill those rosters which in turn enables players who are not ready for the big time to stay in the minors for more seasoning (the minor league towns would enjoy and benefit from) and for those who just really are not the best of the best, keeps them out of the league all together. This improves play on the field which is most important for the true fan.

With Toronto and Oakland gone a void has been created in the American League. No worries, let's just realign. Baseball has done this several times. No biggie. Might I suggest moving the hapless Pirates to the A.L. East to replace the Jays and the Rockies to the A.L. West to replace the A's. Now we have 14 teams in each league and balanced divisions all around. Normally, I am not a proponent of trying to create fairness, probably because I don't experience it myself in my own life, but in this case I am looking out for the fans who have the big picture in mind and not just their fav team.

My rational for moving the Pirates and Rockies is simple. The Pirates cannot compete now as it is in the N.L. Central plus this division has 6 teams. Moving the Bucs forces one of two PA teams to the opposing league which allows the fans to enjoy both styles of baseball, one with a DH and another without. I know, the A.L. East is the toughest division in baseball. Does it really matter what division you put them in? The Pirates just suck, that's all there is to it. Logically, Pittsburgh is the eastern most city geographically to fill the void lost by contracting Toronto. As far as the Rockies are concerned, wouldn't you love to see a DH hit in Denver? With the light air, it seems a good fit to entice the club to play an offensive style. The Rockies early history suggests that's the approach they took to construct the roster. They were bad then, but an offensive emphasis in the N.L. isn't the right approach. Putting them in the A.L. combined with their new pitching philosophy makes for an interesting A.L. West division.

That's a busy day. Can't make all the changes at one time. Stay tuned for further action taken from the office of the new Commissioner. Now for a hot dog and suds.

Baby Girl Video

2010-02-17T14:49:00.003-05:00

Libby Mae! from Rebecca Bryan on Vimeo.

A short produced by Rebecca Bryan. More Questions Than Answers has partnered with Vimeo for distribution. As a proud Pop my motivation is obvious.

Century Mark (100 Songs for the 100th Post)

2010-02-03T14:25:00.002-05:00

This is it, the 100th post of More Questions Than Answers. I thought I would make it a fun one since a good portion of the 99 are serious and rather depressing. If you have been reading since the beginning you know that the primary reason I starting blogging was for its therapeutic benefits. Music also displays these same therapeutic benefits.

The songs we fill our ipods with represent more than just entertainment. We get lost in the stories told as these songs convey emotions that reflect our place in this world or at least our place in this moment. The music we enjoy sits within a context of our own understanding of our experience.

So, let's make a list of 100 songs that make you smile, laugh and remember good times. Click the comment link below to contribute. Remember 100 songs for this century post. I'll start with the first 6:

1) Y.M.C.A by Village People

2) Your Smiling Face by James Taylor

3) You've Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman

4) Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Cheers theme) by Gary Portnoy

5) You May Be Right by Billy Joel

6) Centerfield by John Fogerty

Now it's your turn.

A Prayer for Libby

2010-01-21T11:20:00.003-05:00

To God, the creator of life and Lord of purpose. Thank you for the life you have formed--Elizabeth Mae Henson, a child born by Your great love. Her entrance begins a great story, a tale that You are already sure of and one that will most certainly tell of the path she will take. I cannot think of an act of worship this side of Heaven any greater or sincere than the one experienced watching You bring Libby into the world. May my worship continue as I watch her life be woven into the fabric of Your master plan. May my worship intensify as You call me to stewardship; parenting her through the grind of life and loving her as if she were my very own.

To those who surround her, the ones who have direct influence, please give direction as instruction is given, encouragement is offered and example is imitated. Bless Libby with Your jealous love as promised to a thousand generations of those who obey You. Challenge her desire for self-service and place within her heart a spirit of repentance. May she be motivated by the presence and joyful reception of You, the one to whom she belongs. Reveal to Libby that ancient mystery that Christ within her is the hope of glory. May she accept the forgiveness You have granted by Your blood and may she follow You all the days of her life. Inspire Libby to greatness, Lord. Teach her to use the skills and talents You have gifted for Kingdom purpose. May her hopes, dreams and pursuit for achievement reflect Your heart and may her life's work honor You. No matter her success', may the merit of her life be judged not by what she accomplishes but by the reasons she gives for her efforts. I pray that Libby would proclaim Christ as Lord and be prepared to explain to all in her circle of influence about her hope.

Thank you God as these requests are made in the belief and confidence in Christ Himself, the Savior and Coming King. Thank you for orchestrating this new life and allowing me the pleasure to witness Your power and be a part of this great miracle. Amen

Adventure Awaits

2010-01-04T14:16:00.003-05:00

Twenty-Ten is here and I have to say that this, for me, is a most excellent time of year. In all honesty, I hate January because of the cold, but there is one feature that January possesses that more than makes up for its shortcomings. That feature being the month that introduces the new year.

I'm all revved up to initiate my 2010 life plan with includes a number of goals.

December is inventory time as I review and respond to the year that was. That process is complete when a new plan of action is written down to help me achieve my goals for the new year coming. When the plan is written I can very easily remember at anytime what my course is because I can look it up, while at the same time, when I feel lazy or lack focus, I am held accountable because what is written isn't going away.

I'm all fired up about this new year. Coming off the last six months, I have new energy and drive to see big things happen. I'm counting on disappointments and failures, but this year I'll be ready to make adjustments along the way. I am motivated beyond any level I can remember but not because I have more raw effort to give but because I think I'm smarter. What I mean is that I know myself better, so the large effort I do have will be contributed in a compound mixed with energy and flexible strategy.

I am inspired by the adventure/epic novels I have enjoyed reading. Books like the Lord of The Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia are addicting. Yes, I know this sounds lame, but I find my taste for risk taking palatable after reading. And how the excitement of these fictional adventures transfer into my life plans I don't know. It feels good though, like the high a runner gets from crossing the finish line.

And so it begins. The feelings of redemption with just the flip of the calendar. What new adventures are you planning to discover in 2010?

On the 12 Day of Christmas...

2009-12-24T12:48:00.005-05:00

Let's review, shall we?

12 Days of Christmas: God's Gift to Me
First Day: a wife
Second Day: 2 years of running
Third Day: 3 years of stable residence
Fourth Day: 4 children
Fifth Day: 5 year plan
Sixth Day: 6 books
Seventh Day: 7 episodes of disappointment & failure
Eight Day: 8th grade year and no memory of it
Ninth Day: 9 years of wonderful marriage
Tenth Day: 10th grade salvation experience
Eleventh Day: 11 years of work

My passion is baseball. Most of you who know me personally know that all too well. I cannot get enough. It's been that way since I was eight years old. I had the opportunity to play organized baseball throughout my childhood and I enjoyed every second of it. Even as a young adult, God gave me just enough ability and perseverance to play. On this last day of Christmas blogs let me just state that the number 12 was sewn on my back as I played for the Asbury College Eagles.

The baseball field was the most effective classroom setting I ever experienced. My coaches and teammates throughout the 12 years I played were the greatest teachers. There was something about the team concept and the experiential learning environment that was just right for meeting my educational needs. Basic but important lessons and skills were learned and developed during these fun years. Not everyone gets a chance to play sports at the college level, and I am so grateful to God for that chance.

On the 11th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-24T09:33:00.005-05:00

God has given me 11 years of work. This might sound lame but with the current economic meltdown, I am reminded of the fragile job market and how I am not burdened with unemployment. Many are struggling, trying to piece together life with little resources, or none. To some small extent I can relate as there was a period of six months that I was unemployed. This period began just days before our second child was born. I was sent home--laid off/let go/freed up/downsized/available for other opportunities--whatever you want to call it. This was a scary time with medical bills on the way. God, in His mercy, opened up a new door and the fear was replaced with thanks. Although I am confident that all my needs will be met, I also understand that I am not immune to the reality of this down turn in prosperity.

Modest living with responsible and strategic financial planning, all wrapped up in faithful devotion to the One that makes life possible; that's the only advice I can give. Now back to work...

On the 10th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-23T11:20:00.006-05:00

I've been granted new life because of Christ and God's work of grace as my 10th grade salvation experience will testify. That story is remarkable because it's my story. I didn't always have this opinion though. Early on, I was content to believe that my experience of faith was ordinary and anti-dramatic. As my faith matured and my knowledge of who God is expanded, my opinion changed.

I was an average kid I guess, with typical youthful tendencies and attitudes. Even though I had grown up in the church I was confused about what it meant to be a follower of Christ. My understanding was that attendance on Sunday was sufficient. As I got older, I struggled with direction and wrestled with identity (as most youth do I suppose). In the fall of my sophomore year in high school I met a classmate named Rodney Prater. We had an art class together and this meeting and the subsequent time spent as classmates set in motion a bigger story of what God was doing in my life. Our interactions together seem innocent enough, especially to outsiders who might have been paying attention. Although casual, our conversations and the way he conducted himself played big in my mind. Questions started to form but not to the extent where I was prepared to ask.

It was Super Bowl Sunday that year when he was on his way to his youth group Bowl party. Of course, being January, it was dark and the Kentucky country roads are as straight as a silly straw. Driving to the party, he rounded a bend in the road to fast and crashed head on into a electric poll. His car sunk down off the road and into the ditch below the road above. A day had passed before he was found. It was assumed by the medical professionals that he died upon impact. When the news broke, I was devastated.

It was at this point that the questions that had begun to form were now concrete and demanding my response. I couldn't understand why a person like Rodney, a serious and faithful follower of Jesus, would be gone this way, and so soon.

The only thing I knew to do at this point was to ask the questions out loud. I sought out the pastor of the church I attended each Sunday and began unwrapping the hurt and confusion and fear. The only thing he could do for me was to present to me again who Jesus is, and in this context, the message started to make sense. Shortly after, I decided to be a serious Jesus follower. I believed.

I am convinced that God's plan all along was to use Rodney Prater's life and death to get to me. There are probably others that can make this same boast. My faith story is big-time, as are all stories of salvation, because God brought me from death to life.

On the 9th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-22T15:38:00.008-05:00

God has given me 9 years of wonderful marriage. The main pastor of our church recently said in a weekend message that marriage is the greatest exercise of self discovery. How true. I have learned so much about myself in these nine years that at times I haven't liked myself very much. Hilary is the real hero in this story as she has had to live with me. She is not my "better half," nor does she "complete me." She is, however, my life partner who supports and encourages me in good times or bad. We hold each other accountable to all that God wants in our lives. Accountability is the part no one likes but it's the part that creates the best fruit.

Marriage is an on-going spiritual retreat that requires thoughtful effort and honest responses. It is a practical demonstration of a spiritual reality, that being, the relationship between Christ and those who follow Him in devotion. Our lives of faith are stronger and maturing because of our relationship with one another. Our relationship is at it's best when we are investing in each other, seeking the best and serving one another. Funny how that same formula works as we pursue God. Our closeness or distance to God correlates with our attitude and service to others.

My marriage truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

On the 8th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-21T14:11:00.011-05:00

12 Days of Christmas: God's Gift To Me.

First Day: a wife

Second Day: 2 years of running

Third Day: 3 years of stable residence

Fourth Day: 4 children

Fifth Day: 5 year plan

Sixth Day: 6 books

Seventh Day: 7 episodes of disappointment & failure

Now here is where this Christmas series of blogs gets dicey. I don't have eight of anything. I really only have two choices, ideas that seem plausible. The first being Facebook, as Kate Gosselin keeps appearing as a friend suggestion. I could befriend her and claim that I know someone with 8 kids. It kind of weirds me out that her profile pic keeps showing up to begin with, not to mention the idea of befriending a single, female Hollywood star.

Or, I could go with the fact that I have no memory whatsoever of 8th grade year. Seriously. I know the name of the building I walked into every morning that year but that's it. I don't recall any teachers' names or funny pranks or anything associated with any extra curriculars. There was my three day bus suspension for fighting, my failed attempt with the Speech & Drama team, the cracking noise my voice started making, rigging the locker so I could forget the combination, the incessant acne, and the archery unit in P.E. Other than that, my mind is drawing a blank.

On the 7th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-20T20:04:00.004-05:00

As much as it hurts, pain and defeat are healthy. God has allowed me to experience much of it during my life. This Christmas I am reminded of 7 episodes of disappointment and failure, that when looking back, has strengthened my resolve to be better and do more. Here is my short list:

born with a damaged eardrum which caused severe hearing loss,

Christmas Eve emergency room party with a leaky appendix (the gift that keeps on givin'),

cut from the high school baseball team junior year,

denied request of marital blessing from my now father-in-law,

back-to-back church collapses (i was on staff at both churches, you connect the dots),

laid off from a job and unemployed for 6 months,

failed initial ordination board hearing

Hindsight is 20/20 and only after a period of time do I realize the growth as a result. Without the presence of impossible circumstances and unmet goals, can we really understand the goodness, grace and purpose of God?

On the 6th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-20T15:11:00.004-05:00

Books are a highly valued commodity. I enjoy reading, more and more the older I get. There are 6 books that have played an important role in shaping my thinking. Those titles are:

Bible,

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis,

The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien,

Soul Survivor: How My Faith Survived the Church by Philip Yancy,

Crime & Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky &

The Screwtape Letters also by C.S. Lewis.

There are lots of other very important books, works that effect in different ways, whether emotionally or intellectually. Books are like music or film or fine art, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What titles would make your list of influential books?

On the 5th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-19T16:18:00.004-05:00

Recently I have undergone some much needed self-examination and God has given me fresh insight on His plan for me. As a result I have developed a 5 year plan designed to keep me focused on obedience and productivity. I have always been a dreamer type, but there was a time not too long ago where my ability to think and act beyond the present was missing. What used to be wild dreams without much of a framework for realization has become a calculated blueprint of action that will lead me toward the things that matter most: people, purpose and productivity. That blueprint calls for investments, both big and small, in every area of my life. If I am obedient and focused then I should see and hear God as He stirs my heart and directs my path. I'm sure there will be changes in the blueprint along the way, but I am also sure that if there weren't then I would be following my plan instead of His.

On the 4th Day of Christmas...

2009-12-18T11:16:00.006-05:00

12 Days of Christmas: God's Gift To Me. (Click on the link to read the intro if you missed it.)

First Day: a wife
Second Day: 2 years of running
Third Day: 3 years of stable residence

There is nothing more miraculous than a child being born. I have been blessed with 4 children, three born and one to come (January 17th if not before). Parenting is a wonderful and yet strenuous exercise; the hardest road I have ever traveled, but also the most rewarding and meaningful. The two quickest ways to self-discovery are marriage and parenting. I enjoy both and am the better as a result. Not only can I contribute to the demands of the day with my activities and production, but I can effect the generations though the lives of my children. God's plan for them begins with me.

On the 3rd Day of Christmas...

2009-12-17T10:28:00.009-05:00

God as given me three years of stable residence. From college graduation till November 2006 I have lived at nine addresses. The stat line is as follows: 9 towns/villages, 3 greater-metro areas, 3 states--all in 8 years.

My family and I love our home in Cincinnati. It's a slightly older home with a little character which contributes to the warmth that resonates within. We enjoy the relationships established with neighbors and the opportunities that come from a city its size. The advantages of living in a city are numerous and too good to pass up. Our family enjoys sports and fitness at the YMCA. The kids love the Zoo and the Museum Center at Union Terminal. Hilary and I take in a concert at Music Hall from time to time, and during the heat of the summer, I can be found at Great American Ball Park.

Slightly over a year ago, God came out from nowhere to bless our home by securing our safety with the removal of a badly broken tree. Here is where the above pic is relevant. The wind from hurricane Ike made its way north and did some serious damage, including splitting our 100 year old tree that sat less than 10 feet from the roof line. Taking out a tree of this size and situated as it was is no job for a rookie. Professionals cost huge bucks and for our modest lifestyle, impossible to pay for. A request from the insurance company was initially denied. Several weeks later, an adjuster shows up out of the blue ready to cut us a check. God not only has given us stability but also safety.

Three whole years in one place feels very nice. The memories and God stories are piling up.

On the 2nd Day of Christmas...

2009-12-16T11:19:00.004-05:00

Two years of running has been a backdoor blessing. What I mean is that the benefits from the miles have been unexpected. I began running against my will as I was registered for the 2007 Chicago Half-Marathon without any warning or preparedness. So I had no choice but to find a training plan and get going. Almost immediately after beginning a program I was hooked. After the miles started piling up and my training rhythm smoothed out I began to experience the "high" of competition that I missed since my college baseball days. At my age, running has become a great athletic activity to cultivate and manage my desire to compete. Being the most competitive person I know, running has also become a stress reliever because I can set my own goals and work toward achievement with very little outside distraction. And then, of course, are the health benefits of running. I dropped 25 lbs. which, as a result, changed my eating habits because being at a healthy weight feels fantastic and now I know the difference. My sleep is much better, feeling more rested in the morning. The hardest part about running isn't the physical effort but the mental effort. For me, it can be a grind. After two years of training, I feel as if my mind is stronger, tougher.

Now my goal is to complete a half-marathon in two hours or less. I am very close. A new pair of shoes and a season without injury should put me over the top. Having a goal is the only way I can get through training. The hours and the miles and the pounding is all worth it on race day when I'm packed in at the starting line with thousands of other runners. It's a natural buzz for me when I can see the finish line and finally step over. Maybe I'll see you on May 2nd in Cincinnati for the Flying Pig. Never too early to start training.

On the 1st day of Christmas...

2009-12-15T09:34:00.004-05:00

God has given me a wife. Not just any wife, but one perfect for me. Yes, she is beautiful, smart and talented, but that is not why I married her. I married her because she is a follower of Jesus and serious about her faith. During our dating years, I quickly learned that what we share is a common understanding of what we want our lives to look like. Our views and aspirations on marriage, church, family life, social activities and parenting comparatively showed similar earmarks of purpose. After 9 and a half years of marriage, she continues to be a person of purpose, not losing sight of God's agenda for her life. She is the most patient, kind, sincere and giving person I know. Thankfully, she lives with me. To live with me and all my baggage, these traits are a must.

12 Days of Christmas: God's Gift To Me

2009-12-14T14:13:00.005-05:00

A longstanding tradition of mine is to use the month of December to clear my schedule and reflect. I enjoy the end of the calendar year because it has become a time of looking back and for looking ahead. As my personality goes, these two behaviors stand out very clearly. I find it rewarding to both review and to plan. In some ways, these activities, reviewing how my time was spent and what I experienced along with planning goals and action steps for the future, have become a personal act of worship. When I get quiet and consider my life in this way, I see God at work. This year is no different. Truly, I enjoy and benefit from God's authority both in and around me.

As Christmas approaches I'd like to share some of these blessings as a daily acknowledgment of God's riches and purpose. To do this I will use the 12 Days of Christmas model. Starting today I will post 12 consecutive blog entries reflecting on God's unique gifts to me. The church calendar teaches us that the 12 days don't actually begin until Christmas day, December 25th, but due to our culturally driven (pre) holi-day excitement and because my family travel schedule would get in the way of daily entries, I have decided to traverse the common path instead of the religious one.

The first day of Christmas is coming up...

Heaven

2009-12-11T09:46:00.006-05:00

Heaven is a place like no other. Sorry. What a stupid opening line, of course it is. Scripture is filled with hundreds of references which, in my view, reveal heaven as a place of special mystery. As a major subject, the Bible describes heaven in simple language but also in a fashion near the abstract. The apostle Paul writes, "I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven..." (2 Corinthians 12:2). When considered in a topical study, it is clear that heaven was understood as varying degrees of God's authority. From an expansive list of biblical references, Paul's, in his second letter to the Corinthians, seems to give the best single summary of the place and mystery of heaven.

The Bible uses both a singular and plural form of the word. The verses with the plural form, as in "heavens", seem to point to nature; that is, the vast expanse above the earth. That space called heavens is that part of creation that rises above and expands into the universe, where the stars shine brightest. A remarkable place; I told you. In the singular form, the context of heaven broadens to claim that it is more than just created space. Heaven is God's dwelling, a supernatural establishment of His complete rule. Jesus associates heaven as a kingdom. Heaven is a place for those who belong, a community where Christ is King.

The attitude of each of the biblical writers who write about heaven is clearly one of hope. From what they could see--clouds, birds, weather, stars-- the heavens are a place that is untouchable; and so from that perspective, a viewpoint of awe and worship to God the creator. There is also a sense of deep mystery because heaven is God's lair, not seen by the living. So many questions arise. What does heaven look like? What are the activities of heaven? Describing God's realm of authority over the entire universe almost sounds abstract because how can one understand completely and express in words what it is to experience heaven?

A city,
hidden treasure,
field,
net,
mustard seed,
all metaphors used by Jesus to stir faith. Heaven is not far off. It is being revealed and yet is coming. So much to be and so much to do. Let us prepare ourselves to be "caught up to the third heaven" and see the very face of God.

My Thanksgiving Devotional

2009-11-26T08:57:00.006-05:00

Deuteronomy 30

This is the end for Moses. Unbeknownst to those surrounding him, Moses is wrapping up a remarkable life. From where I sit, I wonder if he knew that he would never step foot into God's promised land? Here is a group that has waited for generations to be recognized as a legitimate nation. Here they stand just paces from that promised land presumably wrestling with the prospects of freedom and prosperity. My speculation here, but I'm just wondering if anxiety loomed over the people. Looking at their history, God's people existed either enslaved or wandering. Just beyond the ridge their new settling place awaited them. I imagine there could have been fear and conflict within the camp over the opportunity for self-rule while at the same time longing to have an established government to provide authority; being ruled a concept they had grown comfortable with. After all, the people groups that surrounded them were in fact nations, with a king and everything.

As usual, I am extremely grateful. So much to enjoy for such an undeserving person. This has been a year of finding those things that have been scattered and lost. There is a lot more to it than I have time or space to devote but the ability to dream has been restored. As the passage (found at the link above) directs, there were thick calluses that needed to be cut away.

I learned about myself this year that I had experienced at least a couple of years of depression. This is hard to admit but after some honest introspection and self-discovery exercises I came to learn that life's circumstances turned my focus away from God's power to direct me toward opportunity and blessing. I was making purpose and meaning more difficult than it actually is. The Lord taught me that meaning for my life isn't out of reach; in fact, all I needed was a mirror to see who God created. Those talents, attributes, convictions and what I had been taught had not evaporated. I just needed to become intense again in my obedience and devotion to the Lord my God.

And now, what has kept me going and what finally pushed me to break through the darkness is the fact that there is something I can do to initiate the power and authority of God in my life. That is, simply put, to reach back while realizing that there are two choices facing me--life or death. I was experiencing a slow death by not doing anything and believing that the best had come and gone. Now I am experiencing a rejuvenation. My dreams haven't completely come true yet, but the Lord is leading me through an adventure of learning new purpose and giving new opportunity to take hold of the blessing of the land that I possess.

Letting Off Steam

2009-11-21T20:28:00.004-05:00

Stale, musty air filled the cabin as Jacoby and David boarded the plane. Quickly finding his seat, David stows his carry-on in the overhead compartment and sits down by the window. Coming down the isle, Jacoby sees that the seat next to David is empty, along with about a dozen other seats; unusually barren for a trip bound to southern California.

"Hey David, mind if I join you?," Jacoby inquires.

"Not at all," David replies, "I can't sleep on these damn things anyway."

Jacoby places his briefcase in the bin above and tosses his jacket alongside. Sitting down, Jacoby sighs, tired from his day and hoping desperately that this trip will land a new client. Sarcastically, as if to blow off some steam, Jacoby turns to David and remarks, "You don't want to drop a half million in premium billboard space and full page glossies in five general interest rags do you?"

"Actually, put me down for an even mill," David jabs back.

Chuckling, Jacoby appreciates his flight mate accommodating his stress relief. "So, you mentioned earlier some family business." Asking David, "wedding?, graduation?"

As his chin turns away, David replies, "I wish this occasion was so happy." Then pulling the window shade down, he reverts to his polite, eye contact pose. "You mind if I leave it down until we get above the clouds?"

"No problem," Jacoby answers, sensing the approach of an unpleasant subject. "Hey, I'm sorry if I crossed a line by being too nosey."

"We all have them, so at some point the statistics point toward problems, right?," says David as his expression sags. "It's inevitable. Even Bonds struck out every now and then. I just wish my situation wasn't this bad."

"Listen," Jacoby interjects, "it's none of my business. Let me buy you a drink. Miss!," raising his hand to signal the attendant.

"I guess I should be more private about my pending divorce," David continued, "but I just can't pretend anymore that it's not happening. When she left me, she took our two kids and moved in with her parents. My week will consist of fighting about who gets what and trying to convince my girls that their dad loves them. It's been a month since I last saw them."

Sympathizing, Jacoby says, "I don't think you have anything to worry about, of course you love your kids. And they love you."

The attendant approached the two men, smiled and reviewed the drink menu. "What will it be?", Jacoby asked David.

"A vodka spritzer for me," declares David.

"Make it two," Jacoby said, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his money clip. He hands her the cash and reclines his seat.

"Thank you," David says looking over toward the isle seat. "So what about you? You often travel for work?"

"Very often. I'm in advertising and right now, well, it's tough business. I'm networked, have great relationships with my contacts. It's the money factor that's beating me." Continuing to summarize Jacoby says, "The economy is tight and the political culture is such that companies are scared. When that happens, the checkbooks close." Jacoby pauses to taste his cocktail that was delivered almost immediately.

Listening, David kicks his shoes off and says, "At least you have the relationship part down. My problem is just the opposite. I have more money than I can spend; huge house, luxury cars, private school for the girls, but Angie says it just doesn't work anymore."

Sacred V. Secular

2009-11-08T15:54:00.007-05:00

Compartmentalization is a part of life. We continually make judgments and stereotype as a way to analyse, explain and understand. I guess it is a natural response in an effort to gain control and feel comfortable. To use the reasoning of critical analysis in search of knowledge seems innocent enough. Knowledge and understanding are good but just like all good things, the opportunity for bad exists. Ultimately then, the search for meaning can be soiled. Often, discrimination and unfair conclusions are the result of our separation of things. We are all familiar with the socio-economic living classifications of rural, suburban and urban along with the work place snobbery tags of white collar and blue collar. These labels unconsciously suggest one worker is worth more than the other or that one neighborhood is more safe or sophisticated. Compartmentalization happens often. We do it to describe the make-up of our bodies, societies and cultures and even in the manufacturing of ideas, beliefs and behaviors. A larger list could be created but I want to focus on the latter.

In the realm of faith and religion, it is in ideas, beliefs and behaviors that the talk of what is appropriate is vigorous. Why does the community of faith make division between the sacred and secular, another one of these separations? And since artificial barriers exists, who decides which categories certain things fall? These are thoughts and questions that have come as a result of my thinking of how truth is marketed and distributed. Just this year, I have enjoyed and benefited from the Pixar movie Wall-E, a modern film categorized as both secular and for children. The animation medium, for whatever reason, seems to be pigeon holed art for immature audiences only. That is an ignorant conclusion and a judgement reserved for the immature. Wall-E is, perhaps, the most thoughtful and truth telling film as I have seen. For as great as the story is, the film is altogether efficient too. The animation allows for all audiences, children or adults, to pay attention to and learn from. Now, the motivation that drove the making of this movie can be brought to question. Christians are very good at this because Wall-E, after all, is a Disney creation and their intention seemingly was not to point to God, the maker of truth or to symbolize Wall-E, the robot, as a Christ figure, disrupting the natural flow of life and setting a course where a new heaven and new earth is formed and where the human race is redeemed. I think it is safe to say Disney/Pixar had other motivations. Other critics claim this movie is one of political ideology. Maybe. That is what makes this film great. It leads all sorts of people, all different, to draw different conclusions in their personal pursuit of what is right and good.

Back to motivation and what shapes purposes; maybe this is where sacred and secular are divided. Is it in purpose that makes something sacred? I am not arguing that Wall-E or any other movie, for that matter, is sacred. The argument could be made, however, that the lessons of the film itself are sacred.

Another example of confusing judgement is in the novel Crime & Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. A book of classic literature and widely regarded as one of the best novels ever written, yet it is not considered a sacred work even though it is a magnificent story of self justified murder ending with sincere repentance. Truthfully, this book has stimulated more capital in my personal faith than most any book currently on a Christian bookstore shelf.

It is both funny and maddening that as a society we make the effort to organize and categorize. Trying to understand why probably makes me seem insensitive to the effort of the church to disassociate itself from the world. The reality, of course, is we are all a part of the world, like it our not, and that truth, no matter its source is of God. To borrow a concept from another Pixar film...not everyone will know truth, but truth can come from anyone.

The Passing of Time

2009-10-25T19:42:00.007-04:00

Jacoby tosses his bag onto the belt and progresses through the line waiting to board his flight. Another business trip, but not a welcome one after some long, tiring days and too many broken down deals. Shoe laces untied and I.D. in hand, Jacoby can do nothing but wait. Running on fumes, his eyes glass over in a perpetual glare; mind slowing down but with sharp, clear thoughts.

"How did this happen? How did I get here?," Jacoby silently reflects.

A small town boy growing up in a poor family, there was no such thing as opportunity. Jacoby always dreamed of getting out of that sleepy, hillbilly town, but his hopes were not rooted in a displeasure of his life but from a curiosity of his purpose. He loved his family and friends, even the town itself. But questions persisted; wonder about the future and the role he would play in the advancement of history. A day dreamer who would often consider what could be, Jacoby was a thinker, inspired by possibilities. There was something magical about a boyhood filled with almost nothing. There were neighborhood baseball games and an occasional campfire, bike rides and open fields. Apart from the simple pleasures of being a kid, the days were filled with unscripted leisure. Time to imagine, pretend, create and be lost in whatever world he wished.

Pondering these things, memories swirled in his mind prompting questions not unlike the days of his past. Filled with both confusion and awe as the memories flood, Jacoby's stare loosens as the line toward the departure gate inches forward. Suddenly a flight announcement blared and jerked Jacoby's gaze out of focus and his attention back to the line he was standing in. Wondering how long he had been napping, Jacoby guesses it was only a minute or two as the line continued to slither through the terminal.

A man, tall and appearing disheveled, standing just one place ahead of Jacoby, turned around and gazed at the busy activity around him. The man dropped his boarding pass and Jacoby bent down to retrieve the creased card.

"Sir," Jacoby declared in an inquisitive tone. "You dropped this," extending his hand toward the man.

"Oh, thank you. I can't go anywhere without this," the man replied.

"No problem...Where you headed?"

"San Diego...I've got family business out there."

As the small talk persists, Jacoby feels a bit renewed with conversation. Continuing, Jacoby replies, "We're on the same flight. Headed there myself. I've got some clients to check on."

The line to the gate dwindles as the men continue their conversation. Nearing the gate, Jacoby is interrupted by a vibrating pulse from his front pant pocket; an incoming message from his phone.

"Excuse me a moment," Jacoby interjects politely. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out his phone and sees a text from his wife. It reads, "Call me when you land. Go some BIG news!!"

"Sorry about that, it was my wife checking in."

"I understand. Everything OK?," the man responds.

"Yea, she's excited about something. I'll get the scoop later tonight."

"You know what? I didn't catch your name. Mine is Jacoby Kincaid."

"I'm David...David Crosley, nice to meet you."

With mutual pleasure the two men acknowledge their formal introduction with a nod and proceed through the gate. Shuffling their belongings out of their pockets and onto the x-rayed conveyor belt.

Teachable Moments

2009-10-19T20:25:00.004-04:00

Tonight, as I helped in the bedtime routine of our three children, I pulled out a book of complied comic strips. Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite, and so I have now introduced Watterson's work to my two oldest. After a half dozen pages they were asking for more.

I'm not sure why they like it; maybe because the main characters are a kid and his stuffed animal. Maybe they sense in my reading how much I enjoy the strip. In the course of reading I stopped to explain why Hobbes looks like a stuffed animal in panes where parents are present and why when Calvin's parents are not in the scene, Hobbes appears to be a real, live tiger. It's fun to watch the kids let that soak in, knowing how much they identify with Calvin, with their own imaginations. There were other things I stopped reading to explain. Using moments when Calvin misbehaves or gets reckless to reinforce lessons the kids have heard in other contexts.

Using the context of a kid and his tiger and allowing my children to view their lives as seen and understood from a kid's perspective seems to me brilliant parenting. Thinking about my wisdom (or lack thereof) of reading this strip to my children got me thinking about my own way of knowing and learning life lessons. Since coming out of a dark period I've recently realized how important it is to step back and see for yourself what it is you're doing. Through a series of events and disappointments, I've been able to look at the experiences themselves, from my past, and probe them with questions and view them from a distance; sort of like seeing your life lived out on paper and reading about it.

Through it all, the darkness and the light, I've learned a lot about me. I'm still processing and progressing on a plan to bring it all together for a greater purpose. But tonight, my kids taught me, by a simple example of self examination.

Hickory

2009-09-28T15:04:00.011-04:00

A chill rips across the rolling, gray hillside. The sharp whistle signals to all who are alert, and reminds as if forgotten, that life must give way to death. A lone tree, high atop the barren pasture, sways majestically as if keeping watch; as it seems, fulfilling an assignment of sorts. This tree, old and gnarled, thick waisted, hoisting its long, spiraling limbs; absorbs the cold wind, surrendering its leaves and nuts to the hillside below.

A man approaches, bent with age but strong in breath, carrying a bag, stops to smell the hickory. The damp but earthy aroma, blunt with rustic flavor, reminds the man of younger days. He has made his appointment with the hickory to collect its harvest. This hillside, this tree, is an entry point, calling back memories of lessons learned and life experienced--recalling how those before have lead and wondering how those behind will carry forth. Leisurely the old man collects the nuts in the bag, admitting with his pace that his real purpose here is the emotions.

Looking down, the man sees a hickory nut partially embodied by its heavy outer shell, dried enough to have lost a segment of the shell all by itself. Wrenching his fingers around the shell, the man attempts to loosen the other segments. The man, wise in years, cannot muster the strength to rid the small nut from its shell, so he retrieves a blade from his right pants pocket. "Ray Kincaid" the engraving reads, saying it aloud. With his mind recalling his father, Ray clutches the nut and sits down on a nearby rock.

"It's been years since my last visit," he considers as his boney fingers fumble around with the knife prying off the nut's shell.

Ray's father brought him here as a boy; every fall, to collect the nuts. He remembers enjoying the time spent with his father; the hike, the weather, the hope he felt while working along side him. Lost with these memories, the wind ratchets up in force and the tree above can be heard moaning and creaking, sending a flurry of leaves and nuts crashing down. Steadying himself on the rock, Ray hears something like a voice calling out. He looks around but sees no one. "Crazy wind," he mumbles under his breath.

Finally able to rid the hickory nut of its outer shell, Ray drops it into his bag, looks up into sky and says, "Thanks Dad." The feelings toward his past continued to pour out as he thought of his father.

Ray was sure glad he came today--to this place--understanding that something right was happening. Glancing down and spotting a small group of hickory nuts, he went back to work.

A Theory as Strong as Newton's

2009-09-16T11:46:00.004-04:00

A long held theory became as strong and unwavering as any Newton ever devised and proved. Let's call it the "red shirt-wedding" theory.

This past weekend, the family gathered in Bridgeport, Connecticut for my brother-in-law's wedding. Because of the culture of that part of the country and its particular style, I was afraid my theory would crash and burn. My theory states that every wedding has at least one guy who wears a red dress shirt. Coat and tie are irrelevant details and the actual red color can be any variation.

Even my brother-in-law, who is aware of my research and generally supports the theory, was in doubt about its success. The whole wedding party and close friends were instructed to be on the lookout for the "red shirt guy." This theory was discussed all week leading up to the wedding and all of us were preparing for a big let down.

I gladly report with exuberance that upon arrival at the church, I did not even have to get out of the car to see the "red shirt" guy. He had arrived just ahead of me and was standing in the doorway. Touchdown! There are times when I don't spot this person until the reception, but not this time. As as aside, just so you don't think this occurrence is a fluke, another red shirt guy appeared at the reception. Bonus!

Please don't congratulate me for research well completed. Anyone could have done it; it only takes a vision and a little hard work. With a dream and a plan, you too can discover a whole new world.

Everyone Can Benefit from Counseling

2009-09-04T15:22:00.006-04:00

It's a little known fact that my favorite television show is Cheers. You know it as the show set in a bar with a womanizing owner, the battling bar maids (one crass and the other intellectual), a beer guzzling, unemployed accountant and other well casted characters. Cheers is great not because of the story lines but because of the characters. The theme song opening each episode explains what the show was all about--relationships and all that is involved with great friendships.

Just within the past month I have experienced the essence of what life was like in that tiny Boston bar. While undergoing a bout of personal darkness I turned to friends, and without surprise, they came through for me. I have been wrestling with my sense of purpose, particularly as it relates to career. Falling into an unhealthy emotional state, I decided I needed the help and support of those I trust.

I remember years back my best friend would say that "everyone can benefit from counseling," and I, of course, loved to debate his premise of the frailty of the human spirit. He went on to a career in counseling and social services while I pursued ministry. Go figure that we both would work in fields where the depravity of the individual is a central theme. Anyway, remembering our antagonist conversations, I decided to seek him out for career counseling. I went to him with a book in hand that had been recommended to me by another great friend. That book, 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller, has been a tremendous resource in self reflection and a good start in this career counseling process.

I guess what I am saying is that place where everyone knows your name is a good place. Without the honest feedback, resources, and the accountability of friends, I imagine that I would remain in this dark period spiraling toward rock bottom. I am now a believer; counseling can benefit everyone and friends you can turn to in times of crisis are invaluable.

A Man of Means

2009-08-28T10:09:00.004-04:00

In a hurry, Jacoby presses the button signaling the elevator down as he slings his three button jacket across his shoulders while checking the status of his cross country flight from his phone. Quickly losing the signal as the elevator doors close, Jacoby slides the ultra sleek, do it all device into his right pant pocket. Having a few moments of pause descending from the 59th floor, Jacoby scanned the small chamber looking to make small talk.

Jacoby Allen Kincaid was a pro at working a crowd. Jacoby is to rapport building as Twain is to Americana. The ability to find something in common with those he met was his speciality. Meeting people was an exercise of networking, a regimen where strangers do not exist and fatigue never comes. Thus his ascent to the high rise of success as an executive in the advertising business. A man of messages with a circle of influence unlike any who has shared his name.

The elevator lunges downward as Jacoby notices the man standing next to him in a pair of black, single strap Sergio Rossi's. This Italian shoe maker was a customer, and a good one, committing significant sums to high gloss, upscale magazine ads and a championship tennis sponsorship.

"Hey, nice shoes," Jacoby insists, turning his shoulders squarely toward the man.

Put off by the random compliment, the man stretches a smile and nods.

"My name is Kincaid and I work upstairs. Love to get your opinion on those shoes for an ad campaign my team is developing."

"Listen, I'm late for a meeting," the man responds, obviously annoyed with friendly chatter. He straightens his tie and tunnels his stare into the mirrored elevator doors shutting down any indication of his interest to talk.

Jacoby leans forward and in a confident tone says, "No problem, we can meet for lunch next week." Reaching into his jacket pocket, Jacoby grabs a card and steps forward presenting it to the man in the fancy shoes. "If you're not happy with the comfort or look of the pair your wearing", clinching his jaw with inquisitive eyes, "tell me and I'll ensure your complete satisfaction."

Sensing something for nothing, the man takes his hand out of his pocket, accepts the card and smiles. "Yea, how about I call you next week?"

"I'll look forward to it," says Jacoby reaching to shake his hand.

As the handshake consummated the business exchange the bell toned and the doors to the 23rd floor opened. The fancy shoe man, who suddenly felt empowered, exited as others rushed onto the platform.

Boney Fingers

2009-08-19T11:48:00.003-04:00

Recently I was re-introduced to a song while listening to my XM radio (channel 10, The Roadhouse) and was captivated by the lyrics. A requisite for good music is good lyrics. In my opinion, lyrics create good songs; the tune compliments and makes the lyrics relevant. Anyway, the song I heard was titled Boney Fingers sung by Hoyt Axton and Renee Armand. I am fixated on this song because it reminds me of some of my thinking on legacy and how hard work is not necessarily a preamble to success. Don't get me wrong, I am not endorsing a weak work ethic or even do-nothing laziness. Hard work is a good thing and a trait that ought to be exercised by each of us. I am just saying that hard work is not the primary ingredient for success. I have written about this in the context of legacy and generational blessing, of which you can find in the archives under the tags "life" and "search for contentment". Since I have referenced the song I might as well just post the lyrics. I recommend finding a copy from your favorite music source for personal enjoyment.

Boney Fingers

songwriters: Axton, Armand

See the rain comin' down and the roof won't hold 'er

Lost my job and I feel a little older

Car won't run and our love's grown colder

But maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'

Maybe things'll get a little better

Oh! the clothes need washin' and the fire won't start

Kids all cryin' and you're breakin' my heart

Whole darn place is fallin' apart

Maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'

Maybe things'll get a little better

Work your fingers to the bone - whadda get?

Boney fingers - boney fing-gers

Yeah I've been broke as long as I remember

Get a little money and I gotta run and spend 'er

When I try to save it, pretty woman come and take it

Sayin' maybe things'll get a litte better, in the mornin'

Maybe things'll get a little better

Work your fingers to the bone - whadda get?

Boney fingers - boney fing-gers

Yeah the grass won't grow and the sun's too hot

The whole darn world is goin' to pot

Might as well like it 'cause you're all that I've got

But, maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin'

Maybe things'll get a little better

Work your fingers to the bone - whadda get?

Boney fingers - boney fing-gers

The Tenth Commandment

2009-08-12T21:58:00.007-04:00

This weekend at VCC Dave Workman finished the Summer of Love teaching series with a message that reflects the essence of the tenth commandment; the commandment being "You shall not covet" and the message being "Love Contentment". You should hear for yourself using the video link here. My purpose here is to reflect on what I heard because I have questions, of course.

I struggle with contentment; seemingly always have, and the subtitle of this blog suggests that someday I hope to overcome this apparent void in my life. My primary question as it relates to contentment in the circumstances of life has to do with God's will and his use of restlessness to communicate a change of scenery or a directive to travel a different path. Is it possible to be unnecessarily struggling with circumstances trying to find joy when the Holy Spirit is in fact using the un-joy to say "This is not for you or not for now"? Simply put, is it acceptable to covet contentment all the while searching for that satisfaction of being and doing exactly what God wants? Maybe it is not so simple. The message was good and timely considering my current feelings of restlessness. I just wonder if in the process of trying to keep the tenth commandment one could miss a message from God.

Questions that I do not have answers to often complicates the process. The redeeming factor in all of the wrestling, depression, doubt and fear is that it is better than the alternative. That alternative is to be clueless; rambling on in a wandering, dead end path without any knowledge and with much naivety. Being satisfied with second best and unfulfilled in purpose is a terrible thought. The intense struggle of finding those specifics seem like a high price to pay. I think I have worked myself up to the point that loving contentment seems much harder than not coveting. Something tells me that although Dave did not outright say that to love contentment is harder maybe the truth of the teaching is that exactly. This commandment, in truth, maybe about more than not desiring something that I do not have, but rather (or additionally) to love what I do have.

I will let you know if I figure anything out. Meanwhile, watch the video and comment your own take.

Productivity Reform

2009-07-30T10:02:00.004-04:00

Recently I have come to the realization that to do lists and schedule planners can be a silent killer. Those who know me well know that I cannot live without these items. I use them for two reasons: first, to help me remember the important things that need to be accomplished and second to help me see progress. I have often complained about my poor memory and I think that over the years my defense mechanism has been to make lists and plan tasks. My days have become centered around my schedule because achievement is important to me. I remember days of illness or extreme fatigue or when called away because of something unexpected and how upset or depressed I felt for not having been productive that day.

Seemingly, I am struggling with qualities that generally are viewed as character builders. This does not sound right but is it possible? Maybe these favorable traits are struggling with me. Things like work ethic, responsibility and drive to succeed are features that I strive to possess but I wonder if I am taking these too far? Am I receiving enough reward for the stress involved with keeping the schedule?

Lately in my praying I have sensed God teaching me about other qualities like pace, priority, and efficient wisdom. Admittedly these are things that I have not inquired about but are the Lord's response to me in reference to other things we have discussed. So my schedule has changed as a result. Wait, that is not exactly true. My list making and planning have continued for the reasons I wrote earlier, but I have changed to help myself be truly productive and not kill myself in the process. These changes are mostly attitudinal allowing for flexibility and a little spontaneity (just a smidge because a whole lot would drown me). This week specifically I have used my planner as a supplement to productivity and not the primary tool. Looking first at my primary surroundings with respect to relationships, current activity, and the time allotment before the next natural break in the day has helped me experience daily life with less stress and more value for those people and activities I have experienced. This cuts across my grain by saying that being reactive to life as apposed to proactive is bringing peace. I really do not understand that intellectually and truthfully have harsh things to say about people to live in that style. An so it is with change. It is never easy. Using my schedule as a supplement to managing my time has not been easy because I am fighting off feelings of guilt and the horrible self-characterization of laziness. The good I am experiencing this week is outweighing the bad for sure. The reward of finding more enjoyment in daily, routine life has trumped the feelings of success with items on the list crossed off.

What's next? I do not know but I will look around and see. I have options and that is a good thing.

Blogging: A Year In Review

2009-07-22T11:21:00.003-04:00

It has been a year now since I begun this writing adventure More Questions Than Answers and I feel like I should assess where I have been and make a conclusion about where I am going with this little writing hobby. When I started last June the idea was to create a space to do three primary things. The first purpose was to have an outlet for ideas and random questions that stir inside of me that often did not get expressed. Some of my closest friends are ones that I would often have face-to-face conversation with where ideas and questions were discussed. Some of these friends are near and some are far as life has a way of scattering us for various reasons. It is hard to let a good thing go, so I thought this blog would be a good opportunity to stay connected and continue the dialogue. Jobs, growing families, and other such responsibilities have a knack of getting in the way of weekend visits or extended phone calls with these friends.

The second purpose was to engage in a different kind of ministry activity. Not holding responsibility in targeted, formal ministry now for two years I wanted to be active doing something that someone may find productive and useful. Writing for this blog has prompted me to think in different ways and given me motivation to study. Not sure how these entries the past year has benefited any of its readers (if at all), but personally this blogging exercise has been a sharpening tool to keep me from slumping into apathy and self absorption.

Lastly, the purpose of this space is simply for myself. I am learning that writing can be a therapeutic retreat. I say that my faith is a daily grind and writing has become a way of managing the highs and lows in my attempt at faithfulness. There is something about public expression that creates vulnerability. For some this is a scary concept but the risk is worth the effort as I have found that I am not the only one with doubt, fear, and disappointments.

A year ago when I first began writing I decided that I did not want this blog to be a journal or scrapbook exclusively, hoping to find a middle ground so that everyone in my social network would find something here that would be of interest. Again, not sure what I have accomplished. I believe I will continue to write, at least for now. I have other writing projects I am working on, probably words you will never see or hear me talk about. One thing this blog has not done is give me confidence in writing. These new projects are a result of private energy and ones that will hopefully be something my family will view and value. To tell the truth, my ability to crank out a weekly entry is being hampered by these other projects. Maybe that is good, maybe not.

They say the toughest critic is the self critic and I would agree (whoever 'they' is). The bottom line is that I think I have been able to stick with my three fold purpose all the while having fun. If you are a regular visitor let me say 'thanks' for participating. Hope we can spend more time visiting as the ideas and questions continue.

West Coast Baseball Tour

2009-07-10T22:18:00.007-04:00

I celebrated the 4th of July holiday in all-American style. My friends and I traveled to the west coast visiting Major League Baseball yards. This time last year I posted an entry about our east coast trip. That trip included Camden Yards (Baltimore), Yankee Stadium (NY) and Fenway Park (Boston.) The motivation last summer was to see Yankee Stadium before it closed. The baseball was terrific; the games and the overall atmosphere generated by the fans were one of a kind. In planning the trip for this summer there was one classic, historic yard we had not visited which led us to California.

Los Angeles -- From a baseball point-of-view this was the highlight of the trip. Dodger Stadium is a beautiful place, probably enhanced by the constantly warm climate. This yard was the centerpiece of the trip and the classic stadium we had traveled to see. For being a huge sports market and having an historic franchise one could assume the atmosphere would be hyper with ultra passionate fans. Not the case. In fact, the stadium itself is completely surrounded by parking lots-- no restaurants, bars, or memorabilia stores. Dodger Stadium sits on a large patch of desert with no nightlife or retail or anything surrounding. We enjoyed Grandpa Elliott and his harmonica playing the pre-game National Anthem in addition to God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. The fans are laid back like typical Californians, although we were all disappointed that Manny was still 3 days away.

San Diego -- The next stop on the tour was Petco Park which is one of the recently built stadiums. This venue features a warehouse incorporated into the structure of the left field stands. Also, beyond the right-center field fence is a large sand box which of course is supposed to replicate the beaches just a few blocks away. The 'beach' was full of kids not enjoying the game. A first inning home run came close to reminding those young-uns what they were missing. The all you can eat section we sat in had tricked up hot dogs, plump and extra greasy. Three dogs were the max but we did consume one food item per inning.

Anaheim -- Back to the greater LA area with a stop at Angel Stadium which strangely had a mid-western feel. Other than the great weather there was no obvious indicator that we were in southern California. This was a family baseball experience with a stadium full of young kids with their parents. There was nothing especially unique about Angel Stadium. It was a clean place with a good sized crowd who seemed to be baseball fans in general, not passionate, just there for a good time.

As vacations go, this year was an overall better trip. Taking into account the great weather and the air travel, this trip lended itself to more activity besides baseball. Considering just baseball stadiums and the sport, no place or building can compete with NY and Boston in terms of passion, lore, beauty, and magic. Nonetheless, I can now cross off Dodger Stadium as a classic baseball place I've visited. I think my classics tour is now complete: Dodger Stadium, Wrigley Field, Tiger Stadium, Camden Yards, Yankee Stadium, & Fenway Park. Too bad Crosley Field and Candlestick Park aren't still baseball hosts.

A King without a Kingdom

2009-06-25T09:45:00.003-04:00

A King without a kingdom, or is it a kingdom without a King? To me, this seems to be a question that provides a reference point for understanding dual applications for the Old Testament book of Judges. On one hand, God is present and reminding the people of Israel that they are his people and he is their God; reminding them of the promise made to multiply the nation and make them great if only they would be completely devoted to him as their only God. On the other hand, the people of Israel do not exactly receive this promise with their undivided attention to the God of their forefathers.

Experiencing their wandering devotion toward material idols and man-made gods, the Lord raised up deliverers to re-direct his nation, teaching them their history and reminding them of his promise. God as King set out to re-claim the attention of his kingdom. These deliverers, or judges, were ordained to lead the ignorers of the promise back to the fully devoted King fulfilling the promise to make the nation great.

The people of Israel became enthralled with their surrounding culture, interacting with outside nations and their multitude of self made gods. Self absorbed and ignorant of the promise, Israel worshiped these gods instead of the one who made the promise to begin with and who is carrying out the plan to rule a great people. As a kingdom, the people of Israel were without a king in favor of self rule and the immediate gratification of easily manipulated idols.

With no reliable or credible leadership in combination with being surrounded by people with major worldview differences, the nation of Israel succumbed to the pressure and influence of divided allegiance, which is a problem for a jealous God. In the current age of multiplicity with mass knowledge and real time information exchange it seems apparent that complete and fully focused worship of the Lord God easily breaks down as there are so many alternate ideas, values, gadgets, theologies, etc. that grab our attention. As a tribe, stripe, group, people (whatever the term) leadership is crucial for detailed direction and overall counsel. As much as leadership is needed, those placed in the position of judge, king, manager, president, and the like are ultimately just servants to God giving oversight as assigned. Individually the responsibility is mine to keep my heart and head on task in my worship. The leaders placed for my benefit aren’t perfect nor are they always available. King or no king, it’s on me to show my hearts true devotion, to stop the cycle of sin and return to God who is the King of the universe.

A Lesson From Dad: Always Finish What You Start

2009-06-21T13:10:00.003-04:00

I was only nine years old when I started playing baseball, but at nine had fallen behind in terms of experience and skills. My peers had already completed one or two seasons prior to advancing on to Little League where live pitching from a coach was graduated in favor of the reliable wildness of developing pitchers of nine, ten, and eleven. It was quite an experience for me to play a team sport that I had only seen on television. My abilities were limited to playing catch with my dad and casual batting practice with the long, lean, plastic lumber named ‘Whiffle’. So to say I struggled in my rookie season is an understatement. I was the only player on my team without previous organized playing time.

Attempting to learn the game while keeping up with my teammates, I remember distinctly one particular practice. In fact, I will never forget that day because it was when all my frustrations came to a boil. This particular day was a turning point in which I give my dad all the credit.

The best player on our team was the coach’s son and, of course, this teammate received more attention and ‘coaching’ than the rest of us. It first occurred to me that not all the guys were equal when Coach and his son got into a heated argument during infield drills. The shouting and pointing subsided when our shortstop walked off the field. I was bothered by the tension I was now aware of because for me this experience of baseball was about having fun. It was enough that I was unskilled trying to make the best of my inexperience but to witness a father berate his son about a game and for the son to respond with such disrespect in return was too much for me to manage.

Afterward, while riding home in the passenger seat of the car, Dad asked about practice. Distressed and not wanting to talk about it, I told him I wanted to quit. I don’t remember the details of the conversation but I know he understood my frustration. My dad made it plain in his response to my request to bail. Quitting was not an option. He told me that I had to finish out the season because that is what I committed myself to do by signing up to play. Dad said that if I didn’t want to play next season then fine, but to quit means I’m letting my teammates down who are counting on me, plus quitting doesn’t allow me the chance to even see if I could become a ballplayer. The lesson he taught me that day was to always finish what I start. Throughout the years, both in my childhood and now as an adult, I have reviewed that encounter with my dad and valued the lesson he taught.

Looking back and considering what might have been, I have enjoyed many years of fun and friendships that never would have happened had my dad not admonished me to finish what I had started. Ultimately, I played organized baseball for twelve seasons including at high school and college levels. I gained so much during these years, even beyond the fun and the memories. This story isn’t about baseball or even about me. This is about Dad and his wisdom to teach me a lesson about perseverance and commitment and his guidance to help me translate this lesson from the context of baseball to the experiences of my life. Thanks Dad and Happy Father’s Day!

Midgets, Miners, & Misery

2009-06-17T11:10:00.003-04:00

110words recently published week 3 of 3 in the genre series. This last entry of the series required stories of a 'politically correct' nature. Since there were no other guidelines the participating authors worked with caution I'm sure. That's what makes this short story experiment so fun, the page is blank with any number of directions to take. Below is my entry.

Midgets, Miners, & Misery

Dear Mother,
I hope this letter finds you well as I myself am feeling ill. Don't worry; I'm fine, really. It's just the critics, they're overwhelming these days. I've caused quite a stir with my 'Snow White' creation. The 'Little People', corrected as I am, are seeking legislative asylum due to simply how they were referred. Those in the mining community are outraged claiming they were depicted erroneously as ignorant, naive laborers. I've enclosed a copy of the title tune to my new feature. Hopefully 'When You Wish upon a Star' will quiet the politically correct crowd. Not catching any flak from the children. Go figure.
With love,
Walt

Generational Blessing

2009-06-11T11:34:00.003-04:00

As disappointing as it may sound, there is only so much one can accomplish during his/her time of the generational chain of history. There is a myth that claims if one works hard enough one can be and do anything he/she puts his/her mind to. There are too many examples of hard work and honest pursuit that has lead to unfulfilled goals. What if it were true that the context that the previous generation provides sets the parameters for the present segment of history? The sky is not the limit, only up to the ceiling that was left. Maybe the ceiling is lofty or maybe it is dwarfed. Either way, its concrete and not predetermined if one will reach it. The significance and meaning of one's life does not lie in individual accomplishments and milestones exclusively. These noteworthy pieces of achievement are very important to the limited view of the individual but to see what God sees would be mind blowing. These individual achievements would look very small considering the divine plan for the universe and its entire history.

What can one really know for sure about their life and how it fits generationally? Choices matter and relationships are indispensable and should be clung to tightly. Knowing full well that life is much too complicated most of the time to consider anything other that the decisions of the day; it helps to consider the big picture, especially during those times of doubt, fear, or uncertainty. Making decisions with the long term in mind does not sound fun and most definitely not simple. The patterns of having many questions and few answers leaves one discontent and unfulfilled. In the depths of sorrow and failure, contentment is possible. Review the characters and lessons of the past; see what was left to continue and learn the boundaries of individual purpose and mission. Use that foundation to make choices that will encourage growth and an expansion of those boundaries. Get excited for the future, anticipating those in front will grab tightly onto the baton and run with exuberance toward the next scene in the great story. The story that is being told is important, first, because it is personal. There is ownership naturally attached to one's story. One's experiences and reactions to life that surrounds can never be sanely disputed and discredited. Circumstances are real and cannot be stolen away.

Secondly, the story is important because it fits into a bigger, eternal story. Here is where a greater sense of contentment comes. Doing one's best with max effort and pure heart is the absolute best that can be done. What is the sense in comparing it to what others have done or are doing? Is this where contentment in life gets lost? An eternal story is being told, and God is the author. God is presenting this story through generational patterns shaped by individual choices. In the end, if allowed, contentment will surely be felt and known despite the disappointment of today.

And God spoke all these words: 'I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.' (Exodus 20:1-6)

Tues Trivia

2009-06-09T09:17:00.004-04:00

I have decided to add a new feature to More Questions Than Answers. Starting today and running through the summer, a baseball trivia question will be posted for your amusement and participation. Check it out every Tuesday for a new question and the answer from the previous week. Be sure to use the comment form to make your guesses so we can all see how right you are. Are you ready?

Last night, the Braves defeated the Pirates, which marked the 2,000th win for Bobby Cox as manager of the Atlanta Braves. He is only 1 of 4 managers all time to have won 2,000 games with the same team. Who are the other 3 managers to have met this milestone?

[x-thoo-shush]

2009-06-03T15:19:00.004-04:00

I am still participating in this writing group that focuses on learning the skills. So, the entries are short by design. I am learning to say more with less if that makes any sense. Some of you who are reading this and know me well can insert your snide remark here. Jokes aside, this week's entry is the second part of three dealing with genres. Based on the photo the assignment was to write a Sci-Fi story in 110 words or less.

[x-thoo-shush]

I am called Xthousious and I come from the city of Dark Forms. By my words my memory has returned but my strength fails. The Worm Lords have confounded me here. This place is cold and I feel a force within it; a shield of sorts, not elemental but spiritual. An evil presence looms here. I must depart at once. I can hear the waves of motion beyond this corridor but I am unable to pierce the threshold. Something--this presence--is preventing my advance. It's dominion I cannot break. Telepathic signals may reach my comrades in time; for rescue, before the hemorrhaging of the sun. Focus I must.

Finding Contentment in the Family Tree

2009-05-28T13:50:00.004-04:00

The events and experiences of life have a context that one tries to interpret for today. What does it all mean and what can one learn from these moments? From the moment one is old enough to think and process, it seems the search for meaning emerges. Throughout life, one is given, intentionally or unintentionally, a set of rules and standards to uphold that gives life an explanation. Sometimes, of course, the message takes a negative outlook showing a life of chaos, confusion, and on-going sorrow. Most of the time, the lives that fall under these circumstances exist unintentionally, meaning that the person involved does not hope for hopelessness and despair. Then there are lives that take a positive outlook, showing a life of happiness, purpose, and success. These lives, just like those who live the opposite, take shape with personal choices. Choices lead to experiences and experiences turn the pages of history and set the framework of the next generation. Whether one lives a life of chaos or happiness the circumstances under which it begins was put in place by the generation before. Trying to understand the framework and foundation of one's life comes with many questions and too often one's vision to understand is limited and confined to asking this: "What does this mean for right now?" A better question may be, "What does this mean in relation to the generation prior and the one to come?" Again, context is the underpinning of understanding our lives because one's life is not singular and unrelated to other lives. Interpreting one's life experiences seems much more important and fruitful when asking questions that relate to a generational understanding. Not only does one get a broader perspective and understanding when looking at life from a generational point-of-view but also one is directed to make more significant and purposeful choices. These choices, made in a spirit of exploration and intent help form an attitude of discovery and an outlook of better things to come.

An honest attempt to discern the meaning in one's individual life in proper context seems to be an exercise not unlike an exhaustive attempt at genealogy. Piecing together the connection of relatives and deciphering their personalities and the accomplishments of their lives is a study that can give inspiration, pride, disappointment, and even frustration. Very often, the answers one is given to explain and order life end up not being answers at all but form questions that were never thought to be asked. Maybe that defines maturity, that is, understanding one's life both from the knowledge of what is happening now and having perspective on how one's life fits in the broader view of generational growth. Like a puzzle, the pieces come together above, below, and side-to-side to form the complete image. Also like a puzzle, the individual pieces cannot view the complete image as it sits as a whole. Its role is in its place on the table just like one's life has a point-in-time assignment in history. It is beneficial, of course, to look back to the past for context and meaning. Better yet, it is important to leave something of value behind for loved ones to enjoy and continue cultivating. The point is that neither those of the past or those next in line will see fully the significance or impact, positive or negative, of the present. God is telling a remarkable story and to be apart of the plot is simply terrifying. Someday, when the Lord's story is complete and in full view of all, one's small, particular corner of history will deem itself necessary and contentment will no longer ride with self absorption or unanswered questions.

Moonshine Whiskey

2009-05-20T14:29:00.003-04:00

"Jeb, would you stop messin' with that damn cat? You're makin' me nervous," shouted DeWitt.

"I'm just tryin' to make a friend, maybe somethin' you should be doin'," replied Jeb.

"You told me you would help me stand guard against those county bastards that want to shut down grandpa's still. This still has been producin' for ages and I ain't about to back down. You with me or not?," asked DeWitt.

"I'm here ain't I?", responded Jeb. "You didn't tell me I'd have to stand guard with my rifle. Besides, I'm supposed to be hayridin' with Miss Annie."

"Chasin' felines is about all you're good for anyway," bemoaned DeWitt.

Teacher's Week In NCH

2009-05-12T11:50:00.010-04:00

Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week at Clovernook Elementary School. My wife, Hilary, and I have had an on-going conversation about being involved in the local schools where our kids attend so as to contribute toward a positive educational experience. So Hilary joined the PTA and volunteered to head up a campaign to honor the teachers and staff at Clovernook. I say "campaign" because that is what she made it, an over-the-top expression to say "thanks" for all the work and the care they display to our children.

Hilary did a wonderful job serving the educators and support staff. She had an advantage as a former teacher, knowing what teachers do and how best they would feel appreciated. She set up camp there all week serving breakfast and lunch each day. If you know Hilary you know she went all out as a hostess--no pre-packaged or pre-processed meals! She thoughtfully prepared whole meals with all the fixings. In addition, she had gifts to distribute and encouragement notes to deliver which made the week that much more meaningful. The combination of demonstrated service with considerate words is a powerful formula.

Hilary's efforts serving the school was fantastic but she did not work alone. The best part of the week was her ability to engage the North College Hill community. Local businesses rallied behind her effort to ensure the staff at Clovernook knew of their confidence and support. The majority of the food was donated and and all the gifts were supplied by these same, local businesses. Hilary organized a group of parents who volunteered to serve as recess monitors so the teachers could sit down and enjoy their already short lunch break. Teacher Appreciation Week was a community effort showcasing what it looks like when we serve one another.

The week of serving was a success all because of an outward focused attitude. The staff at Clovernook seemed genuinely overwhelmed with gratitude, and I imagine that the students in the classrooms also experienced a re-energized application of service to them. Hat tip to Hilary for giving us an example and leading us toward a selfless community lifestyle.

Normal Heroics: A Tribute to My Mom

2009-05-10T14:30:00.003-04:00

She stands five foot nothing with dark, rusty hair moderately curled and cut short to minimize the maintenance. The splattering of red freckles on her fair skin draws little attention to her petite frame, but she won't complain. The quiet, tender spirit she portrays is becoming for a mother like her. As features go, this woman would never be picked from a crowd. Her unassuming personality and blue collar work ethic makes her plain in a world where mystery, scandal and shameless self promotion separates the popular from unpopular.

She is a working professional who is smart enough to know when to leave one job in order to focus on another more important career. As a housewife and parent her daily energy was directed toward her home, children, and husband ensuring that homework was done, bellies were full, and beds were warm. Forfeiting the upper middle class "American dream" she exchanged the myth of financial security for the stability of traditional family values. The memories are vivid and rich, but noticeably absent are the fuss and drama of a person who is trying to live beyond her means.

She is a lady with few words but much insight. Do not mistake her silence for absence of ideas, thoughts or emotions. The anxiety and worry she owns she carries for those she loves, hoping for what is best. Most of the conversation is reserved for the Father to whom she offers these burdens. Those faithful days and nights of prayer have shaped her life and all those in it.

From the perspective of an outsider it may be said that there is nothing spectacular about who she is or what she has done. Normal seems to be a trait that is forgotten or overlooked, but a quality that she happily embodies. For those who know her best it is well known how truly special she is; without the pomp of worldly achievements and prestige. Her character and simple identity have created a stature that has, to date, reverberated to two generations. In these complicated days normal is like a gem found in cavernous terrain. Indeed she can be described as normal but do not take that as a slight. Normal, as embraced by my mom, is the cloth from which heroes are cut.

All Children Left Behind

2009-04-24T10:26:00.021-04:00

The education system in this country is broken and it's going to take BIG ideas to make the necessary corrections. I have been concerned about the way we do schools for some time and now more than ever since my children are entering them. Education has become big business, not only at the graduate level but also at the grade school level both public and private. Any time motivation points toward dollars and cents and the pursuit to collect heaping mounds of it, purpose and focus change (even if it is unintentional). Schools are marketing themselves using achievement test scores, facilities/amenities and athletics. What ever happened to judging a school by it's curriculum, quality of educators and track record for meeting students needs no matter where they fall on the academic scale? It seems to me that schools are trying hard to see how many students and families they can attract and enroll instead of making sure the students that are enrolled can think, communicate, write, comprehend, analyze, draw conclusions, and form new ideas of their own.

At the High School level the point seems to be all about preparing every student for college. This is a shift I think, but I cannot explain how it used to be because when I was in HS I too was being prepped for college. Can I say that I don't think everyone is cut out for college? Elitist snobbery at its best, right? Let me finish. Really though, do you think every student should be instructed the same way? Not everyone can be white collar executives or 9 to 5 specialist. Why? Because they just can't; the skill set and personality compatibility doesn't fit. It sounds so simple. Why make it hard? Generally speaking, HS students should have a feel for their natural gifts and abilities. At the very least, they should be well aware of their interests. Let's build on that educationally instead of forcing every student into the same mold. At this stage the fundamentals rule and I wonder if we're not pressing ahead so that SAT results are satisfactory and college entrance essays are crafted just right?

At the University level the emphasis seems to be the indoctrination of a particular political or religious point of view while doing job training for future employers. The University used to be for the elite minds, those who had an aptitude and interest in research and training in fields that maintain and advance society's systems as a whole. The best of the best were needed in areas such as government, law, medicine, business, philosophy, science and others I surely left out. It used to be a privilege to attend college, instead enrollment beyond HS graduation has become an entitlement. Now every college is crammed full and new ones are popping up just in time to get in on this new big business. Are we producing smarter, well-rounded young adults as a result?

Whose fault is it that education has gone this way? Has government interfered by trying to universalize learning? Let me answer that one--Yes. Where does the responsibility lie with parents? I can answer that one too. Parents (um, that's me now) are primarily responsible for the growth and development of children. Shame on us for not asking enough questions or being involved in the school experience. It's our fault for not nurturing and watching them grow; identifying their gifts and interests and then giving them opportunities to mature and excel in these areas.

I'm not angry. I'm a parent who wants to take control and do this thing right. The next generation demands my active participation and purposeful effort. I've written about this generational thing before as it pertains to financial stability. Read my post called FPU Lessons In Legacy to get more. Education is tied to occupation which is tied to standard of living, so changes on how we're doing education in this country has to change. By standard of living I don't mean rich, poor, or this un-defined or mis-defined category of middle class. I'm tired of the daily interactions with disgruntled and under performing people who'd rather be someplace else but aren't because the current educational climate beats them down with money, status, career, and standard of living hype. To have a high standard of living means to be living the life not that you've always dreamed of, but achieving what you CAN achieve and BE who you are naturally as gifted. My role as a parent (as established by myself) is to ensure the fundamentals are mastered and then help direct my children into their areas of giftedness and interest and then present them opportunities to develop the skills necessary to live the high life. This isn't going to be easy but I'm game.

RESET: On Church

2009-04-15T19:26:00.004-04:00

It has been a good six weeks, a period of RESET. The first part is over now, evaluating what was known or understood and realizing there may be misunderstanding, erroneous ideas shaped by culture, or simply ignorance. The next step is re-knowing or learning for the first time those issues of Christian faith that are important in managing life. This secondary step may be the most difficult as the surrounding culture seems to communicate a message that is appealing but short-sighted and counter to God's plan, even under the best of intentions at times. I may try to unpack that later with another, separate post.

This it the last post in the RESET series and it ends with the church, a topic that has become a hot button for me the last several years. So for the sake of positive productivity and practicing a value my father always communicated, "If you can't say something nice then don't say it at all.", I will not say anything. Click here for the weekend message by Joe Boyd at Vineyard Community Church. He is a good teacher who communicates important spiritual truths in deep ways without theological snobbery or irrelevant, religious application. Joe says it much better than I ever could.

Aslan, Resurrection, & Easter

2009-04-11T22:58:00.006-04:00

"It means," said Aslan, "that though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a
magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the
dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the
stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a
different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had
committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack
and Death itself would start working backward."

It's just like C.S. Lewis, author of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe from which this excerpt is taken, to make light work of heavy theological concepts. Lewis is a master of simplicity; not watering down, but explaining in a way that is truly understandable. Here the concept is resurrection--from dead to live. Resurrection is a reversal of death and Lewis seems to define or describe resurrection as a dynamic reality that marches on bit by bit.

This profound simplicity makes me ask what may seem like ridiculous questions. Questions about increased life expectancy throughout history. The human race is living longer than ever before. I wonder about the idea of global warming and its spiritual implications. Are the climate changes the result of resurrection; God working toward the new Earth? Lewis does, after all, describe Narnia (pre-Aslan) as always winter and never Christmas.

Celebrating Easter makes me wonder about how Jesus' empty tomb goes beyond metaphorical symbolism describing the spiritual life. Not only did Jesus' resurrection defeat sin and offer a second chance morally but it set in motion a physical (actual) reality that "death would start working backward". Death kick-starts life and so shouldn't we expect to experience the sights and sounds of that new beginning?

The backtracking began and continues with the Christ. Jesus said to his inner circle as he appeared to them,

"Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead
the third day, and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed
in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are my
witnesses of these things. (Luke 24:46-48)

RESET: On Prayer

2009-04-06T11:43:00.011-04:00

I continue the RESET series of posts which are my reflections from a city wide teaching series involving some 50 churches in the Cincinnati metro area. This teaching series includes a daily journal with action and reflection prompts, weekly small group gatherings, and weekly large group teachings at the various churches that are participating. Week five--'Jesus reset prayer.' I invite you to view/participate in the large group teaching time at Vineyard Community Church here for the week five lesson.

Prayer is one of those things that requires an extreme amount of discipline. Maybe it's just me, but my perception is that most people maintain a one dimensional line to God. In my reflections about my own personal prayer life I realize that I mostly pray when I need something. Whether that thing is health, conflict resolution, guidance toward a decision; I am motivated by my circumstances. What has happened to the relational aspect of prayer? God is not my 'go-to man' or my 'administrative assistant'. God is the creator of the universe which is to say he is my Lord, which means that there is a mutual desire to be in relationship. Prayer is a gesture toward God that reaches out for relationship. That is a single dimension to prayer--telling God what I need and want. It seems appropriate, after all, since God does cause all things to come into being.

There is a second dimension to prayer which connects to the first and makes this discipline complete. That dimension is to yield. It's one thing to trust God to provide our heart's desire but it is another to trust him with whatever else he has in mind for us that we've not thought of or asked for. In other words, yielding to God means to be open, persistent, and patient as you wait to hear God's response. The story Jesus tells of the persistent widow as recorded by Luke is helpful in understanding the yield dimension of relating to God. This is the hard part for me, the waiting patiently part. The 'want it now' culture, I'm sure, plays a role. I'm learning to change what prayer means practically in that it is not a religious exercise but a constant dialogue with God, a back and forth, on-going conversation.

So how does the practical application of the practice of prayer change how God feels in terms of his response to us? I'm not sure it changes anything for him but surely it changes our perspective when we practice with diligence the art of listening. There have been many times that I have prayed for something and quickly concluded in my mind that either God doesn't think I need it or that I don't deserve whatever it is. For me, to explain away a seemingly 'no response' from God is easier for my faith. It's hurts less than hearing a flat 'NO' from God or an alternative response that I'm not open to receive. This is where true discipline comes in; seeking and waiting, asking and receiving, yielding and listening.

I believe God answers prayer but not in a illusionist-audience way, but in a Father-Son way. I don't always get the answer I want because the possibility is strong that there is something better available to receive. I don't always get what I want within the schedule and circumstances I wish because there may be a more opportune time to receive it that is unknown to me. Prayer isn't about proving anything and God doesn't aim to please. God aims to communicate, heal, correct, empower, transform and regenerate.

Skyline Vagabond Picks

2009-04-02T20:48:00.004-04:00

It is common knowledge that the three most important aspects of real estate is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. When location is good, profitability is maximized. The same can be said of baseball pitchers. Success in pitchers is measured not by velocity of the pitches but by the number of outs generated. If you have watched enough baseball you've learned that a ball pitched in the middle of the strike zone is in danger of getting absolutely smashed no matter how hard it is thrown. Tom Glavine (seen above) has made a living and a HOF career of pitching to the corners.

Speaking of pitching, now that the steroid era is officially over I think MLB will retreat to a more historical version of the game that was lost during the drug years. More and more we will start to see the semblance of those 70's & 80's, Whitey Herzog type teams. I suspect the movement toward valuing defense and speed is underway. Throughout the 90's there was a blending of the two leagues in terms of style of play. It used to be that pitching and defense motivated the play in the N.L. while the sluggers were clustered in the A.L. The steroid era changed all that insomuch as every player could pop one out of the yard and each team had a player who was capable of putting up 40 dingers a year. Now that the players have more realistic levels of testosterone, other baseball skills besides power hitting will become revelant.

Now my picks for the 2009 season that begins on Sunday night. Remember, you heard it hear first.
National League

West: San Francisco Giants
Central: Chicago Cubs
East: Philadelphia Phillies
Wild Card: Atlanta Braves

American League

West: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Central: (up for grabs but I'll pick) Minnesota Twins
East: Boston Red Sox
Wild Card: New York Yankees

Surprise teams:

Kansas City Royals (A.L.)
Cincinnati Reds (N.L.)

These teams, while not winning their respective divisions, will compete most of the summer up until the trading deadline.

World Series Winner: I hate picking the Yanks or Sox because it is the trendy thing to do. Plus these teams have the cash to add pieces at the trading deadline if they need to so it becomes the logical pick. When in doubt just go with your heart, right?

Atlanta Braves

Now it's your turn. Click the comments link below if you think you know more that me. Make your picks and take your licks.

RESET: On Love

2009-03-28T20:29:00.006-04:00

I often say that my faith is a grind. I don't mean to be confusing as Christians typically talk about how their faith powers their lives. This is true for me too. What I mean by the grind are the daily ups and downs of being a follower of Christ. My life didn't become easier but harder when I chose to take a different path. Life's expectations are higher and perspective is more relevant and important. I was reminded again of the effort and commitment it takes to understand and obey the will of God. RESET this week was about Jesus' absurd love. It was a challenging week as 'love' is a hard thing for me.

I get the whole unconditional love thing that Jesus does. This is something that has been pounded in me since I was a boy. 'Jesus loves me this I know...,' yea, yea, yea. I believe it to be true not only because the 'Bible tells me so' but because I have experienced this love. I believe it in my head but not always in my life. The tough part for me is abiding in this love continuously, you know, all the time. Receiving is easy when I feel like I deserve the thing I'm getting, like a birthday present or a raise. It's not as easy to accept when I know full well I don't deserve what I'm getting, like the D from Dr. Harstad's Greek 401 class. Why do we feel like we have to chase after God to get his attention? We often work so hard trying to impress him with our good deeds and our discipline habits and only then feel loved. Then we run away from God when we screw up; do the wrong thing and complain about not being connected. Instead of receiving Jesus' love, we try to earn it. We want to feel like we deserve it because it's easier to receive that way.

Jesus said, as recorded in John's gospel (15.14-17),

You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit--fruit that will last--and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

These are hard words because I know that I am not worthy to be loved by God. Not only is it difficult for me to receive Jesus' love all the time, but on top of that I'm commanded to love others. This is especially hard because I expect others to operate the same way I do, that is, to earn my love. Most people who know me have seen that I just know throw out acceptance, sympathy, understanding, forgiveness willy-nilly. I am often accused of being dead inside. It's meant as a joke by my friends but there is some truth to it when you think about it. I think the lesson is this: We must receive (grasp, handle, accept) Jesus' love that really makes no good sense in order to love others in the same nonsensical fashion.

I have a long way to go. I hope there is no misunderstanding when I talk about the grind. It's a good thing--to be challenged and on my toes ready for what's next. My life isn't boring that's for sure. Receiving and experiencing Christ's love causes me to strengthen my focus and pick up my stride because the reward is well worth it. Receiving the love of Christ and living in God's presence is in and of itself sufficient. Why the grind? Because Jesus' love is absurd. Now that know what I know and receiving his love, it is impossible not to grind it out.

110words, #027

2009-03-23T21:16:00.003-04:00

After a week off, the fiction is flowing again. The prompts this time were to first explain how the man and rabbit meet (no pet-owner relationship allowed) and second to tell the story in 110 words or less. Sounds easy enough, right? Here is my entry.

Eddie Rabbit Alter-Ego

Dewey's was slow, so slow the girls bailed before the last set. The smoke was thicker than usual and curiously sweet. Teddy felt sick and the sweat was a squall. He needed the money so he swallowed one last shot and set his pick. Next thing he knew, he was singing songs he'd never sung before. He closed the bar with "Every Which Way but Loose" but had no idea why. Ironic? Yea, his head was pounding. Dude in the front asked for a photo and autograph; wrapped his arm around him and grinned. The lights went out and that is all Teddy could remember.

Why I Love Baseball, Part VI

2009-03-15T20:40:00.004-04:00

With Team USA on the brink of elimination from the WBC and the grapefruit and cactus leagues winding down, that means that opening day is near. This is the last post in this series, so if you've missed any you can catch up by clicking the label 'baseball' from the side bar. I'll do a predictions post a few days before the first pitch so keep your eyes peeled. Now where was I...

Baseball truly is a unique sport. Baseball is a sport that plays out like a child's game; you know with a board and tokens and situational cards to direct the outcome. I love baseball because of the format of the game itself. Unlike the other major sports, baseball is not ruled by a timer or clock. Time is no factor as the outcome of the game is settled by the players themselves. As I have written in a previous post in this series, baseball is a game of execution, not last second desperation. There are nine innings in which both teams take turns batting and fielding. If there has ever been a good definition of 'equal opportunity' this is it. Both teams competing against one another get 27 outs. Again, the game itself directs the play, unaffected and uninterrupted by a timepiece.

Situations dictate the flow and the dramatics of the game. At any given moment, any number of plays or outcomes could occur. Teams have options during these situations. An example, of course, would be laying down a bunt to advance a runner or sacrificing an at-bat by hitting to the off field or the runner just stealing the base. Ball players moving about the bases is like taking a turn in a board game; rolling the die, advancing your token the appropriate number of spaces and then reading the situational action card. When you read the card and await your next turn, you're thinking of your next move. In baseball, there are multiple ways to score and multiple ways to win.

Another beautiful feature of baseball is that the scoring is a result of action that happens from all angles, not concluded at a specific post or dependent on the ball. The other major sports channel the action toward a goal, a specific point at which the scoring occurs. The baseball doesn't have to end up in a basket or net or end zone. This is a reactionary game. With the exception of the home run, the action doesn't depend on the ball itself to satisfy the scoreboard, but on the players reaction to how the ball is traveling and how it is being handled. Yea, the ball has to be in motion to get the wheels turning, but it doesn't have to be struck well or even struck at all to get runs across home plate. A wild pitch can score a run. A sacrifice fly out can score a run. I've seen multiple times a bases on balls (both an unintentional and intentional walk) win a game. Compared to the other major sports, baseball boasts diverse plots of success.

Finally, I love baseball because it is a team sport that showcases individual performances. Thinking about this, I realize that all team sports can tout this in some form or fashion. Only in baseball does the individual performance take center stage. All eyes (teammates, the opposing team, fans) transfix upon the pitcher versus the hitter, each isolated for a moment as if nothing else is going on. I remember last July while on a stadium tour with my college friends. We were in Yankee Stadium when the Red Sox were in town. Mariano Rivera was closing out a 1-0 lead for the Yankees when Manny Ramirez stepped to the plate with a runner on. If there is a batter you want in this situation, it's Manny--the best I've ever seen. That was the game he was first accused of quiting on the Sox. He watched three strikes pass and the Yankees won. For just that one moment, the world seemed to stand still.

RESET: On Giving Up

2009-03-10T14:22:00.004-04:00

One of my goals leading up to this RESET journey was to determine what influences over the years has incorrectly lead me to reconstruct who Jesus really is, if I have at all. Sadly, and not surprisingly, I have painted my image of Jesus as a sort of caricature; the main features established but stretched or blurred or reduced. This was not purposeful on my part. I am learning, especially with the completion of week three study that I have been falsely lead. The culture that surrounds me has made a compelling case to take on attributes and attitudes that are the opposite of Jesus. Why this surprises me I do not know as this is something that I was taught, as a young Christian, to expect.

Week three was all about surrender. The two primary areas of focus had to do with the things in life that we try to control and our interactions with haters (both who hate us and those to whom we return the favor). When I took the time to reflect on these things I realized my behaviors and attitudes were (are) based on a 'righteous', self protecting point of view. The things in my life that I control--space, time, growth/maturity of my kids--are things that I have rationalized in my mind in a positive spin. Without getting specific or bogged down in semantics, I have created such a tight environment for myself and family that I wonder how much of God's leading can be understood in the depths of my complicated underpinning. An example is how I spend my time. I seem to schedule every second of my day. I want a plan. I want to execute this plan so that I can say I accomplished something. I desire achievement and fear not being productive. Maybe I want to accomplish something because achievement is proof that I am not lazy. See what I mean? Rationalization with a righteous spin.

I am a control freak, what can I say? For me, the surrender needs to come not with the virtues I am trying to deepen in myself and develop in my kids but with my attachment to the framework I have created to hold up these virtues. When my scheduled day does not play out like it should, having absorbed spontaneous entries (accidents, distractions, underestimates, telephone calls) my reaction is none too good. This is where the surrender is needed. I need to give up the framework when "things" not planned for happen. God may be breaking in; I need to listen and realize there may be something of far greater worth that I can accomplish.

Jesus wants you to give up. Read for yourself Simon's story and then a prostitute's encounter with Jesus. Giving up is completely counter-cultural. I have learned that to give up is weakness, to quit is a lack of commitment. Not so with the King.

110words, #024-026

2009-03-06T09:56:00.005-05:00

The last three weeks of short fiction writing have been a series. The prompt was to create a character and develop a story using that character. There were three different photos but the point was to thread that character using what was provided. I am listing my entries starting with photo #024 so you can see the progression. Of course.

Roll Tide

"Yep, we'll go right out there a ways to get the best signal," Kenny explained to the game warden, who wondered about the contraption he had seen motoring around the lake.

Kenny wasn't one for long drives or large crowds but he loved his Crimson Tide football. Instead of traditional tail gating, Kenny enjoyed listening every Saturday on his FM dial. A scratchy, snowy broadcast was all he was able to get from his trailer tucked beneath the densely wooded ridge.

"You been drinkin'?", questioned the warden.

"No sir," replied Kenny. "Neither the Lord or the extre weight on these insulation panels could stand it." "Plus it's dangerous."

Other Plans

Satisfied that Kenny was sober, the warden left. Now, Kenny had just enough time before kickoff to grab a bag of pork rinds and his 'Bama foam finger. As he headed up the ridge, he noticed his cousin Herb and a few others, that he had not laid eyes on before, had gathered out in front of his trailer. Remembering that the revival meetin' was goin' on, Kenny decided to go with what he already had--half of an oatmeal cream pie and a plug of Levi Garrett. He had to hurry though to get back down the hill before Herb caught sight of him. Today football was his religion.

Painted Memory

"I don't think Herb saw me," Kenny said to himself, gasping for air after running down the ridge as fast as he could.

Catching his breath, Kenny cranked the motor to his craft and headed toward the middle of the lake. With the high sky and a stiff breeze, Kenny's mind wondered, remembering the company he kept on Saturday afternoons. Pulling an old photograph from his pocket, he thought of his beloved mother. Kenny was just a teenager when it was taken. It was the only game they ever attended in person.

Pushing a tear away, Kenny cried, "I know your up there watchin' mama. I miss ya."

RESET: On Fairness

2009-03-02T11:04:00.004-05:00

The RESET group I am in just finished week two of six. RESET is a city wide study of the life and ministry of Jesus which is designed to prompt a self inflicted "reset" about our long held assumptions of who this God-Man (was) and is. Seemingly it is going to take more than six weeks to completely expunge the binary code in our operating systems. Starting over can take a lifetime; I think that is the point.

This week we contemplated (using the journal book) and talked (in our small group) about fairness. Fairness is one of those qualities that many of us take on as a "must have" personality feature. To hear us tell it, fairness is next to righteousness. An element of being good is being fair--in judgement and in practice. As a society we demand standards to dish out fairness. For example, we want a system of laws to punish the corrupt. We expect a cost of living raise when inflation occurs. Comment with your own examples.

Why do we believe that life has to be fair? I remember my first college course, psychology 101 at Asbury College. It was a 9 am, Monday morning class and all of us in the room were nervous freshman. Shortly after the bell rang, Dr. Alan Moulton, who happened to be the chair of the psychology department, strides in and begins the lecture with these words, "Life is not fair and then you die." I would venture to guess that most college graduates cannot remember the opening line to their first college class. I remember; how could I now with those words?

The point of RESET, week 2 is that Jesus was not committed to fairness. In fact, Jesus has made it a point to operate unfairly, giving us what we do not deserve. (pushing) RESET. We have to trash the idea that fairness equals righteousness remembering that Jesus (was) is committed to mercy and grace. Now these are personality features to adopt. Talk about shaking up your home, office, and neighborhood; giving what they do not expect--another chance.

RESET: Week 1

2009-02-23T20:29:00.005-05:00

A few days ago I posted my Facebook status as "is about to press RESET. Don't mistake it for the Staples easy button." I have started on this city wide ('Nati) journey that allows the participants to start over in their ideas about who Jesus really is and to formulate a more precise understanding, stripped of the trappings and veneer that somehow has been adopted. Apparently there are some 50 churches in the Cincinnati metro area that are participating in this six week teaching/study/small group experience.

Right away, as the Sunday morning message/teaching previewed, there will be nothing easy about this re-ordering of who we believe this Jesus to be. Truth is, I have allowed my surroundings and circumstances to influence my concept of who this God-man is. Maybe you have too. I guess that can be either good or bad depending upon the direction this influence has traveled. Environment and life events can either push you toward God or against him. For me, the darkest moments have ended up being the growing moments. Even still, I have a lot to learn when it comes to really knowing God. As I start this journey, I fully expect my mind to be challenged and heart to be hewn. At least that is what I am praying.

Hilary and I are hosting a group which started last night. After some of the preliminaries, the group began reading some verses from Luke's gospel. Here's one that we talked about for awhile. A quite unsettling quote from Jesus himself:

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple (14:26, NAS).

Does Jesus really have to use that kind of rough language? Hate. Really? Looking more closely at the wording, Jesus in fact uses a word that apparently can be translated. Look here for a lesson from StudyLight. The most troubling thing for me is that Jesus is asking us to project an expression that is completely opposite toward the people to whom we are the most connected to and expect the most from in terms of relationship. Isn't Jesus the God of love? Why then would he expect hatred attached to his loyalty? Good discussion from the group. We finally settled on that perhaps Jesus was using hyperbole to make a very important point about being a follower. It takes my complete and unwavering devotion and focus to walk along side of him. No distractions can be tolerated, even from those we love most. Now I am getting in to some of my own thoughts not necessarily endorsed by the group, but I do not think Jesus is asking us to hate in the same way I understand the term. In other words, Jesus' statement is not a directive to dish out abusive thoughts and behaviors toward those individuals (or anyone for that matter). Maybe Jesus means 'hate the disconnect, distraction, distance that comes between us and do something to prevent it.'

Since I believe that I am only slightly scratching the surface and blogger has only so much space, I will stop for now. A more intense word study is needed here. RESET, week 2 is next and I am thinking this thing is going to get intense.

I Think I'm Onto Something

2009-02-15T14:01:00.006-05:00

More Questions Than Answers is the title of this cockamamy blog. I want this blog, and in particular my writings, to be a blend of varying styles; some scrap booking type posts along with some entries that have the feel of a personal journal. Mostly, I want this to be a place to explore questions that seemingly have no answer or have a hundred viable answers.

A big question that remains unanswered revolves around one of the great mysteries of life: the nature of women. There is not a man in the history of the universe (I know, except for Jesus.) who can honestly claim he has women figured out. This is not to say that to be in the company of a woman is a bad thing; it is not. Sometimes knowing them and pleasing them is a difficult thing.

I love my married life. Let me rephrase...I love my life with Hilary. The previous sentence seemed a bit impersonal. I need to communicate clearly that I am not just an ordinary, married man but a man who is married to a woman that makes my life great. (Since Hilary will be reading this, I want to make sure I am not posed with questions that I cannot answer.)

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, so I wanted to really do it right. In the past I have struggled in the area of gift giving. I have spent way too much time and money trying to get that one special gift that would memorialize V-Day. I have tried everything both discretionary and practical. Gifts like perfume, flowers, candy, trinkets, jewelry, even kitchen utensils and pantry supplies have not seemed to hit the mark. Doing extra chores around the house and running errands, although appreciated, have missed too. This year I decided not to acquire more stuff that strains the budget and really gives little indication of how much I love her. Strangely, gifts have a knack for being dispassionate. My gift to her was simply being with her, engaged in meaningful activities and conversation together. Listen, I know this is not a sexy gift, but with three small children, time to talk and be together alone is a rarity. We had a wonderful time.

I think I was able to add a single piece to the complex puzzle. Life still throws out many questions, but after Valentine's Day 2009 the one about women is a point closer to being almost halfway answered.

Why I Love Baseball, Part V

2009-02-04T21:11:00.004-05:00

It would be a guess on my part to say why some fans of sport dislike baseball. Let me speculate that the primary reason has to do with the pace of a ballgame. I have heard others complain that baseball is too slow. Personally, I could not disagree more. At least those haters have a rational explanation; because I can understand if you had no emotional connection whatsoever why a game appears crawling.

I love baseball because the game presents a slowly building drama that can usually be threaded from start to finish. There is no getting around the fact that the pace of play is torpid compared to other sports, but as a viewer, I am entertained in that I can see all the developing parts slowly coming together to a conclusion. A baseball game from start to finish tells a great story. Like a brilliantly written novel or a great movie, the audience experiences all the sub plots, character development, and conflict that excellent story telling provides.

I find it extremely enjoyable to manage along from my chair, trying to predict the outcome of an at-bat or decide when to bring in a new pitcher. The pace of the game allows for real time speculation and on the spot second guessing. Each inning is like a mini drama that connects to the previous one which finally comes to climax with slick glove work (6-4-3 double play) or an offensive explosion (3 run homer).

Whether watching a game from the ballpark or listening to a XM broadcast, it is probably the most relaxing activity I enjoy. During a game I have the time to think, analyze, draw conclusions and experience the script to a great story.

110words #022

2009-02-03T13:41:00.005-05:00

I participate in this very short fiction writers community called 110words. Here is my latest entry which happens to be the feature story this week. I don't call myself a writer, but I am trying to learn. This writing community is a good way to practice. Having my work featured defiantly injects a boost of confidence. Read my entry below and then check out the other participants work either from the link above or under "blogs i follow" to the right. You can participate too by just going to the blog. C'mon, join me.

Convincing Mom

Yes! This potentially no good, horribly bad day has turned sublime. "Good bye" community theater and "so long" teeth whitening commercials. My big break is finally here. I'm going to be a star with endorsements, paparazzi, bling, a pop album...I need to call my friends, oh and mom. How do I tell my mom about this part? Do I mention the bedroom scene? I'll never hear the end of it. I know, I'll tell her it's just a kissing scene, which I've done before. What if I have to take my pants off? She'll never understand. Ahhh, I'll say I have a stunt double and that those cheeks aren't mine.

Snow Days

2009-01-28T14:26:00.006-05:00

This is day two of a wintry blast that has kept me inside. I am running out of things to do. There is only so much reading and animated movie watching (school was canceled and the kids needed entertainment so cut me some slack) I can mentally tolerate. So with the extra days, I've managed to play lots of Wii (please don't misunderstand), work a 300 piece puzzle, play Chutes & Ladders and Sorry!, try my hand at photography (see pics above and below) and shovel lots of snow.

These last two days have been both good and bad. I have enjoyed these relaxed days with my family. It has been a much needed retreat that I often neglect. With these days spent with my wife and children the good has far outweighed the bad. The laughs and hugs has every bit been worth the breach of routine.

Since my schedule has been destroyed the last two days the time has allowed for much more daily reading. This is good in that I am thoroughly enjoying Hague's biography on Wilberforce. But with more time means more reflection, and I shouldn't prolong the inner dialogue with myself. This usually means that my search for contentment intensifies and satisfaction for how I'm living my life wanes. Reading about William Wilberforce and living in a world of sorrow makes me want to do something big and important. Sometimes I wonder, "Is this all there is for me?" Don't get me wrong. I love my life; my family and friends. I'm not so sure I love my place in this world. It's just that I'm mostly not convinced that I'm living up to my potential. I dream and wonder about how I could make a greater contribution and then am reminded of (seemingly) my limitations. My mind gets all twisted up and so it is difficult to flesh all of this out. We have a rule in our house about speaking nonsense, so I must obey and stop now.

Well I'm off to the Winter X Games, er I mean outside to shovel snow and chip ice off my car!

110words #021

2009-01-27T08:20:00.006-05:00

The most recent entries are posted now on 110words. Here's mine below.

William Rudolph Kincaid
Died January 26, 2009 at the age of 82. Beloved husband of Mildred Warner Kincaid, loving father to daughters Kimberly Fairchild & Joyce Woods, and cherished grandfather to 13 grandchildren. Preceded in death were three sons; William, Bradley, and Daniel. Known for his patriotism, Kincaid adorned proudly the military achievements of his sons who died in service of their country. Memorial service to be held Friday, January 30 at 10 am. The medals of valor will be bestowed to his loving wife then be donated to the National Museum in honor of her friend, hero, and soul mate. Family and friends will be received at a private burial.

MLK Day & Wilberforce

2009-01-19T19:23:00.006-05:00

I told my kids tonight at supper that tomorrow's inauguration is the most significant historical event in their lifetime. They're 5, 4, and 21 months old. I am pretty sure they did not understand although Lara's attention did spark when I mentioned that a grand ball was planned to cap off the celebration. Somehow I think she expects Cinderella to be in attendance. Anyway...

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and tomorrow the United States of America will inaugurate the first African American President. This is big stuff, not just for my kids, but for world at large. I have been reading a biography on William Wilberforce and am learning more about the history of the slave trade and how Wilberforce was enthusiastically and passionately out front on its ultimate destruction. Reading about the work of Wilberforce helps reinforce the meaning of Obama's presidency and may very well be the most important historical event in my lifetime.

In my reading I am fascinated with the skill at which Wilberforce approached the arguments he prepared for Parliament. The research, interviews, reading, and site visits that went into forming his abolitionist viewpoint is mind blowing. There is no question as to his life's work.

On May 12, 1789 Wilberforce gave a 3 1/2 hour speech beginning the abolitionist movement in England. It is said that Wilberforce had a multifaceted strategy as he approached his now famous speech to the House of Commons. In this biography, the author William Hague lists eight devices Wilberforce uses in the speech, which is considered a masterpiece. Only because of my fascination do I list the eight devices of persuasion:

disarming a skeptical audience
flattery
inclusion of opponents of personal feelings of outrage
picking the weakest part of the opponents case & ridiculing it
arguing the consequences of current policies
reassurance-inviting opponents to agree with a proposition before immediately showing it groundless
appealing to British self interest
gave audience [House of Commons] choice between inspirational reform or guilty inaction

Maybe I have not paid close enough attention, but who in today's world can match the craftsmanship of speech writing? I am not a speech writer nor have I given many speeches, but I am impressed with the skill and focus at which Wilberforce spoke. I have been trying to find a copy of the speech but can only find an extract. Read it for yourself and you will understand the brilliance.

Reading Hague's biography has both inspired me and made me question the efforts of the modern politician/mogul/leader to influence the future for good. I am probably short sighted when I say this, but I feel like the closest anyone comes to the type of appeal that Wilberforce exhibited is a used car dealer. What has led to the current cultural landscape where sound bites, 60 second commercials, and network television scripted political debates have been the primary source of "need to know" ideas? An even graver question is why are we, that is the public, so apathetic? It seems that the networks script the debates for fear the public would not watch. I guess it is easy to point a finger and cast blame as it takes less effort to complain and flip channels.

Both Martin Luther King Jr. and William Wilberforce were men of inspiration and action; men whose skill, passion, and painstaking effort proved valuable for each of us today. These men are heros who without question were living beyond themselves but for a calling, that because successful, all of history enjoys.

Why I Love Baseball, Part IV

2009-01-14T20:58:00.003-05:00

The conclusion of the hot stove league is upon us as February approaches. This year, pitchers and catchers report on February 14th. How poetic that Valentine's Day coincides with the start of spring training. This off season has found my favorite team, the Braves, seemingly scrambling for those few "must have" players. What started off as disastrous has very quickly rounded into form.

The free agent market is interesting in that the available players seem to be labeled and ranked by the teams, analysts, and agents. This is a natural response of a fan to assess how good certain available players are compared to others, as is for the aforementioned because of the big bucks involved in signing these players. So, the Braves just signed pitchers Derek Lowe and Kenshin Kawakami , the former being the best pitcher left in the free agent pool (according to the pundits, er, knuckleheads) and the latter being an unknown since he's coming from the Japanese leagues. The Braves had made an offer to the second best pitcher available (I disagree), A.J. Burnett but lost out to the Yankees. The point I am trying to make is that teams who have a need for a certain position seemingly start at the top of the list of available players (or somewhere down the list depending on how much the top tier players are asking for) and work their way down until they fill the position. This does not seem like a viable strategy when building a competitive team. It looks more like Christmas shopping. When the hot toy of the season is gone off the shelves then you turn to the next popular item. This way of participating in the free agent market seems mercenary and much too pragmatic considering the millions spent on these players.

I love baseball because of the seemingly simple strategy it presents. From the perspective of team building, the strategy is simple and every team shares it; get the best, proven talent available. (While the strategy may be simple, the process to acquire these players is more complicated.) The reason this approach is so straightforward for any baseball team is because the strategy of the game itself is also simple. Here it is. Baseball is an execution sport. The team that makes the most routine plays wins. There is no playbook in baseball. When the team takes the field in the top of the 1st the opponent at bat knows exactly what's going to happen. Pitch, catch, throw. One out, two outs, three outs. Defenses do not have to be broken down and the offense does not need to resort to trickery. There is more time spent on actually honing and perfecting the skills of the game than on devising a "game plan" by which to catch the other team by surprise.

For some fans of sport this is what they hate about baseball; that the game itself is too routine. I guess this routine matches up well with my personality. I love routine. I like knowing what's coming next. Me and spontaneity do not do so well together. The game of baseball is about discipline and accountability. Success comes with doing the routine better than everyone else. If the routine does not happen consistently enough the performance and outcome suffer. Reminds me of life as a husband, father, employee, neighbor, friend, and God's child.

Crutch

2009-01-11T16:09:00.005-05:00

Week 1 of 18 done. I just finished my first long run of the year. Halfway through I realized that I had forgotten my knee strap which eases the pain from the patella tendonitis. I finished with only a slight twinge. The Flying Pig is only 17 weeks away.

110words, #019

2009-01-08T20:37:00.006-05:00

The Poser

The man with the yellow boots stepped out of the shadows as the rented cargo truck sped away. What seemed inadvertent was completely according to plan. The ball was dropped and the man, wired to communicate, stood gawking and admiring this overgrown Christmas ornament. Drawing the attention of onlookers and halting the flow of traffic, the heist was underway. As the scene spirals into chaos, the man with the yellow boots turns away and folds up his umbrella; signaling the next phase of the operation. Nerves pounding, he walks away and disappears into the crowd. Making good on his part, the man awaits his share of the booty.

(to see all the entries, go to the 110words blog)

Goals For the New Year

2009-01-04T21:35:00.002-05:00

Let me be the first to say that I am fully aware of all the changes I need to make. I'm pretending you haven't already made my list of changes under your breath or in your thoughts. You don't have to tell me, I know.

The nod of the New Year has always been (as long as I can remember) a time of recovery for me. I have a strong contempt for the winter months as the cold, dormant days seem to stir mood swings more than usual. The two things that keep me moving as I try to stay warm is looking forward to when pitchers and catchers report (in February) and the focus of big new ideas for the new year. Sometimes these ideas aren't so new. Things like losing weight or being a better husband seem to make the list every year.

Most everyone makes some sort of resolution as the big ball drops. I'm no exception, although I prefer the word goals. Usually right after Thanksgiving I start thinking about all the things I'd like to accomplish or achieve during the upcoming 12. After Christmas I write them down, and as I remember throughout the years, the list has changed. Sometimes it's a list of simple declarative statements and other times it's more like an outline with objectives and dates. I have alot to do this year; things I want to accomplish and things I just need to do.

Why is it that some (unofficial stats found on Google show most) who make resolutions never experience the pride of achievement? I admit that I don't always achieve every goal. Most are achieved but some are not. I think it would be stupid of me to try to make a judgment about another person's intent or motivation. I won't go there. It's only fair to analyze my own inner workings. My problem is desire. I have it, lots of it and I usually attribute a lack of desire to those who struggle doing the things they say their going to do. I typically say something arrogant like, "If you want it bad enough then you'll do what it takes." I'm sure there are other items needed besides desire to reach your goals; like time, resources, relationships, money, and for the circumstances to fall into place.

For me, achieving my goals is not exclusively about me. Yea, it will feel good personally when I lose 20 pounds. I'll look better plus the reduction in waist line will deliver greater health. I want to lose the extra pounds so I can be better for the people around me; those I love. So my Sunday afternoon distance runs are for my wife and kids just as much as for me. I think it's this kind of desire that encourages and drives me. When I think about how my list of things will affect others around me then I start making some headway. Maybe this sounds like rationalization. If it is then I've got alot of work to do. I said that already.